I always assumed I would be the proud mom of daughters. While I didn’t exactly picture myself surrounded by a sea of pink and glitter, I certainly looked forward to nurturing fierce girls who would carry on the legacy of a strong feminist mom and possibly leave me in their inspiring wake. But then life had other plans, and I ended up with boys. So here I am, the quintessential mom of boys.
You know the type, right? (Don’t pretend; I can sense those eye rolls from here.) I’m that mom who insists that when discussing any woman over the age of 18, the term “woman” should be used. I’m the one who seizes every opportunity to highlight the differences in how we describe boys and girls. Sure, I might take it a bit too far at times — and it often backfires — but that’s just who I am.
I’m the mom who lectures my sons until I’m nearly tired of my own voice about the importance of listening when someone says, “I don’t like that,” or “Stop touching me.” My youngest is only 8 and has zero interest in girls, boys, or even animals, but I reiterate, “Look at me when I’m talking to you. This is critical. If someone says not to touch them, you must stop immediately.”
I’m the mom who constantly celebrates the accomplishments of women and girls. I teach my sons to hold doors open for everyone, not just girls, because it’s not about being polite; it’s about being decent human beings. I remind them that while boys and girls may have differences, one is not superior to the other. You cannot determine someone’s gender by their hairstyle, clothing color, interests, or actions.
I’m the slightly obsessed mom who continuously confronts stereotypes. I don’t allow my kids to engage with video games that objectify women. I made sure they understand what a period is, what tampons are for, where babies come from, and yes, what a vagina is. When the time comes, I’ll explain that women enjoy sex because it feels good.
I’m the enthusiastic mom who had a sit-down with my second-grade son about how to respect girls at school dances. I emphasized that it’s never acceptable to mock or disrespect anyone, even if he’s terrified of the idea of dancing with a girl. I’ve made it clear that if I ever discover he’s making fun of a girl’s appearance or belittling her, he’ll face serious consequences. If I hear him using sexually charged insults, I’ll be right there to correct him. I sound like a broken record when I say that phrases like “cry like a girl” are derogatory and false.
I’m that mom who doesn’t excuse aggressive behavior just because my kids are boys. I’m the somewhat eccentric mom who engages in endless dinner table discussions about women’s underrepresentation throughout history and how the narrative often only portrays one side. I quiz them on historical facts related to women and voting rights (yes, I am indeed that mom).
I’m also the one who sits them down for repeated talks about sex and consent, reinforcing that if they’re ever unsure, the answer should always be no. I’m the one who bores them to tears with conversations about the significant roles women have played throughout history. I’m the mom who passionately advocates for equality, emphasizing the importance of valuing individuals for who they are, rather than their gender.
I’m not focused on raising my sons to be gentlemen. Your daughters deserve boys and men who see them as equals. I’m the persistent voice reminding them that not only can girls do anything boys can do, but boys can do anything girls can do — well, except for childbirth, of course.
Yes, I’m that mom. I know I can be a bit relentless, but I’m dedicated to raising boys who treat your daughters as equals, as partners, and as individuals. I’m committed to fostering a world where my sons prioritize making things more equal, thus creating a better environment for everyone.
I’m willing to take the heat, to endure the eye rolls and huffing sighs if it means making a difference. I’m that mom.
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In summary, I embrace my role as the mom of boys, instilling values of equality and respect for all, while fostering open dialogue about gender and societal roles. My goal is to raise boys who will contribute to a more just world, where everyone is valued equally.
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