“Marriage is one of the most unnatural things two people can do.” Those were the words spoken by my father on the day I tied the knot. I chuckled because it was quintessentially him. Growing up, my parents didn’t sugarcoat the realities of marriage. It was clear that it was tough, full of bumps and frustrations, yet undeniably worthwhile.
How We Met
I met Alex at a gathering while I was with my boyfriend, and he realized right away that I was the one he wanted to marry. If you know Alex, you understand that making decisions is not his forte. (He even had to weigh the silverware before we could register for it.) But with me, he just knew.
Our journey began with Alex chasing after me, only for me to turn him down repeatedly. But eventually, we started dating, and within just five months, I found myself with an engagement ring. Before we knew it, we were married, parenting two children, and facing a cancer diagnosis.
The Diagnosis
Alex often recalls that the day we received the news about my biopsy revealing invasive ductal carcinoma was the same day he was hanging insulation in our garage. The heaviness of that moment is forever etched in our memories.
I’ll never forget the raw emotions we shared when we received that news. How could this be our life? In the midst of chaos, Alex bought a pink leather journal and brought it to every doctor’s appointment, diligently recording the doctors’ words, highlighting the hopeful statements to remind me during my darkest days.
Support Through Sickness
He took on the responsibilities of parenting, feeding and tucking the kids in, all while maintaining a brave face as he prepared their school bags. He folded the laundry, shaved my head, and made tea when I needed it most.
In sickness and in health, our marriage isn’t always neat. It’s not perfect or polished. We have our disagreements, moments of eye-rolling, and the occasional silent treatment. There are times when one of us feels unappreciated or misunderstood, and we have to dig deep into our issues to sort through the messy bits.
The Beauty in the Chaos
It’s not like the movies, with romantic car rides or flower-strewn beds. No, our life is richer than that.
It’s in the little things—how Alex waits for me to sit down before he starts eating, how he always says “bless you” when I sneeze (even during arguments), and how he prepares my toothbrush in the mornings when I’m rushing. He makes healthy smoothies, washes my car, and holds my hand while we run errands. He tickles our kids until they gasp for air, cleans up litter from the streets, and even shovels snow from neighbors’ driveways. Saturday mornings are filled with laughter as he flips pancakes while singing along to his favorite tunes. He makes our bed every morning and speaks kindly of others.
And he loves me—every part of me, including the flawed parts that often hide beneath the surface.
A Magical Connection
This feels like magic, akin to moonlight dancing on the ocean or snowflakes drifting in the wind. During one of the toughest phases of my cancer journey, I told him, “I’d rather be sick with you than healthy without you.” And that sentiment remains true.
Celebrating Our Journey
Recently, we celebrated an early anniversary by hiking to a serene lake in the Rocky Mountain National Forest to witness a breathtaking sunrise. We captured a candid moment of us—backs to the camera, knees touching, me leaning into him—signifying our unity as we watched the darkness fade away, welcoming the light.
Ten Septembers ago, I made the best decision of my life by marrying Alex. He inspires me to be my best self, and I hope to do the same for him.
The Essence of Marriage
Marriage isn’t about carefree days or gentle breezes; it’s about standing together amidst the storms of life. It’s about enduring the downpours and patiently waiting for the sun to shine again. It’s a commitment to reach out to one another consistently, embracing every facet of each other, even the less-than-perfect ones. It requires maintaining eye contact and connection through the chaos.
It’s hard, messy, beautiful, and authentic. And above all, it is so worth it.
Further Reading
For more insights on navigating relationships and family life, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re considering home insemination, companies like Make A Mom offer reputable at-home insemination kits. Additionally, for reliable information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Hopkins Medicine.
In summary, marriage is a complex journey filled with ups and downs, but the love and partnership that grow from it make every challenge worthwhile.
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