Let’s talk about the unfiltered truths of postpartum life that you likely won’t hear from your well-meaning friends or those overly polished parenting books. If you’re expecting, consider this your heads-up. Blogger Laura Mitchell recently went viral for her honest Facebook post detailing “20 Things To Know After You’ve Just Birthed A Baby.” And let me tell you, she holds nothing back. Veteran moms are nodding along, while expecting mothers might want to brace themselves.
First Up: The First Time You Pee
First up, the moment you attempt to pee for the first time post-delivery. Grab a peri-bottle, trust me. It’s like having a mini shower for your lady parts, and it just might save you from a world of pain. Laura’s advice? “Pour warm water over yourself as you go; it’s oddly comforting.” Can I get a round of applause for this simple yet miraculous invention? Seriously, it’s like gold in the postpartum world.
The Elephant in the Room: Your First Bowel Movement
Now, let’s not sugarcoat the elephant in the room: your first bowel movement. Laura puts it bluntly: “Don’t freak out. You aren’t giving birth again; it just feels like it.” If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean. That initial experience is akin to climbing Mount Everest. But we moms unite in this shared discomfort!
Newborn Appearance
And let’s address the appearance of newborns, shall we? Laura candidly states, “Your baby will look a bit… off.” While everyone else will gush about how adorable your little one is, you may be thinking your precious bundle resembles a squishy, purple alien with a questionable hairstyle. It’s the honest truth, my friends.
The Post-Delivery Shower
Then there’s the post-delivery shower which, according to Laura, will resemble a scene from a horror film. Yes, the hospital food is about as appetizing as cardboard, and your stomach will look like a deflated balloon. Welcome to the glamorous world of postpartum recovery!
The Chaos of Postpartum Life
Perhaps the most relatable observation Laura makes is this: “Everything is angry. Your brain, your eyes, your tummy—everything’s in chaos. Your vagina? It’s absolutely furious.” Can I get a “preach”?
For More Insights
So, if you’re ready for the real deal on what to expect after giving birth, check out our other blog post for more insights, it’s here: intracervicalinsemination.org. And for those looking to embark on the journey of parenthood, you can find a reputable online retailer of at-home insemination syringe kits at Make A Mom. Also, don’t miss out on the excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Mount Sinai.
Summarizing, postpartum life is a wild ride filled with unexpected moments—both funny and a bit gross. But this candid honesty is the support every new mom deserves.
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