“Are there any special challenges related to your child that I should know about?”
I stared at the two tiny blank lines on the form, barely enough space for a few concise sentences. My son, Max, is on the autism spectrum and faces various learning challenges, but there was already an IEP detailing those issues extensively. I didn’t want to rehash everything in this limited space.
“Are there any special challenges related to your child that I should know about?”
Those blank lines seemed to mock me as I felt my cheeks flush with anxiety. The fog in my mind thickened as I struggled to translate my thoughts into words on this cheerful, yellow paper. My hands, tingling from neuropathy, struggled to grip the pen, and the letters on the page began to blur.
“Are there any special challenges related to your child that I should know about?”
I hastily scribbled, “Yes, I have Lyme disease.”
The pen slipped from my fingers, and I found myself fixated on those two words: Lyme disease. How could I convey how having a parent with a disability would affect my child’s school year? A wave of guilt washed over me, and I could feel tears welling in my eyes. How could I possibly explain to Max’s new teacher the struggles my son faces because his mom is not like the other parents?
While other kids are gently awakened by their parents, my son relies on an alarm clock to wake up for school, just in case I’m not alert in time. Where other children sit down to a warm breakfast, Max often serves himself cereal to conserve my limited energy for more essential tasks. Instead of being accompanied to the bus stop, he walks there alone each morning and returns home by himself in the afternoon, navigating our steep hill, which can leave me breathless on tough days.
When other parents help their kids with homework, I’m the mom who sometimes struggles to remember details like math or spelling due to my neurological symptoms. While other parents volunteer for school events, I fight to keep my parent-teacher conference appointment, often arriving looking less than my best.
“I have Lyme disease.” Those words felt heavy and unclear, obscured by tears and the buzzing in my brain. The weight of guilt was suffocating, and I longed to escape back to my bed.
“What are some of your child’s greatest strengths?”
The answer came to me instantly: Empathy. Despite being on the autism spectrum, Max possesses an extraordinary level of empathy. We hear it from teachers and friends alike. Watching me navigate pain and illness has given him a remarkable capacity to care deeply for others. While he may struggle to recognize feelings at times, once he does, he is fiercely determined to help. Whether it’s offering me a blanket when I’m in pain or putting on his little brother’s favorite show to give me a moment’s rest, Max’s nurturing nature shines through.
Max is also impressively independent, having learned to take responsibility for himself out of necessity. I’ve come to appreciate how much he has grown because he has had to adapt. He wakes up on his own, dresses himself, and manages his morning routine. For all the guilt I feel about my limitations, it’s clear he’s mastering valuable life skills that many young adults today seem to lack.
Max is relentlessly determined, a trait that didn’t come easily to him. He used to become easily frustrated and give up quickly. Yet, having a mom who can’t always come to the rescue has taught him resilience. He’s learned to navigate challenges independently, developing a tenacity that inspires me.
The pen slipped from my hand once more. I tucked the completed form into his folder, zipped up his backpack, and hung it back on its hook by the door.
“I have Lyme disease.” It’s not just one of Max’s challenges; it’s also the reason behind many of his strengths. There will be countless moments this year when I’ll feel overwhelmed by guilt for not being the mom I aspire to be. Yet, I hold onto the hope that my son will continue to thrive despite the hardships we face. I trust he’ll find his strength in the areas where I am weak and ultimately recognize the love I have for him, viewing my disability as a catalyst for growth rather than an obstacle.
For more on this topic, check out Cervical Insemination’s blog post. If you’re considering home insemination, visit Make a Mom for reputable at-home insemination kits. Additionally, ACOG provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination information.
Summary:
Parenting with Lyme disease presents unique challenges and guilt, but it also fosters remarkable strengths in children. Despite limitations, children learn resilience, empathy, and independence, ultimately growing from their experiences.
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