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Even Royalty Faces Postpartum Reality
by Sarah Johnson
Updated: May 6, 2021
Originally Published: May 5, 2015
While it’s easy to be mesmerized by the flawless appearance of celebrities like Grace, the Duchess of Cambridge, mere hours after childbirth, it’s essential to remember that she, too, faces the daunting challenges that all mothers endure. Regardless of the level of pampering in one’s life, there are some experiences that no team of assistants can shield you from:
- The Plastic Pee Device
After bringing a baby into the world, new mothers are often tasked with using a peculiar plastic contraption that hangs from the toilet seat, all while someone awkwardly observes. The discomfort is akin to a thousand suns burning, and it’s more exhausting than it appears. After such an ordeal, a trophy or even just a cheeseburger feels well-deserved. Grace might have had a team of beauty experts fussing over her hairstyle while she faced this less-than-glamorous task. - The First Postpartum Bowel Movement
Oh, the horror! Just the thought of it brings back memories that rival a high-stakes thriller. Regardless of the pain relief or stool softeners at your disposal, this experience is painful for everyone. No matter how fabulous or influential you are, no one can do this for you. Grace will likely be cursing her royal duties just as I did mine during this torturous rite of passage. - The Flood of Postpartum Bleeding
Every new mother is met with the challenge of managing the aftermath of nearly a year’s worth of menstrual cycles, all at once. While this is completely normal, it can feel like a scene straight out of a horror film. Coupled with the cramps from a contracting uterus, even a royal must endure this while maintaining a smile in front of the cameras. - Mesh Panties Are a Must
I never thought I’d be both horrified and relieved to don such peculiar attire. These mesh garments are designed to hold the oversized pads necessary due to the postpartum bleeding. They’re gentle on your tender body and allow for breathability—vital when dealing with the chaos below. I was genuinely apprehensive about switching back to regular underwear after my stash of mesh ones ran out, knowing they were the only thing treating me kindly. Grace might have a luxury version of these pantaloons, but I bet she’s sporting them under that stunning dress while greeting the public. - Breast Engorgement and Leaking
After delivery, many mothers are surprised to find their breasts swelling even larger, sometimes feeling like they could explode. While Grace likely has access to royal breast pumps and soothing creams, the discomfort of hard, swollen breasts is something every new mother must endure. And let’s not forget the added pressure of cameras capturing every moment!
In the end, it can be said that the Duchess experiences the same challenges (and bodily functions) as every other new mom. While she may do so with grace and poise, we all understand that it’s worth it in the end. And yes, we all share in the not-so-glamorous aftermath—hemorrhoids included!
For those navigating the journey of parenthood, check out this related blog post for more insights. If you’re considering home insemination, a reliable source for at-home kits can be found at Make a Mom. For anyone seeking valuable information on pregnancy and infertility, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources.
In summary, motherhood is a rollercoaster ride filled with both glamorous and grim experiences, and every woman, whether a royal or not, goes through these challenges with strength and resilience.
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