Ah, the joys of motherhood. From a young age, I dreamt of being a mom, nurturing my dolls with care and affection. However, the reality of caring for a real baby is a stark contrast to those childhood fantasies. While I could hold my dolls endlessly, feed them, and then set them down to go about my day, the same was not true for my actual baby.
My first experience with motherhood was filled with surprises. I adored holding and nursing my newborn, but I quickly discovered that I was not alone in my need for some freedom. My baby, on the other hand, had no intention of letting me put him down. It felt like I had a little Velcro baby, glued to me at all times.
We had all the essentials: a cozy bassinet, a baby swing, and a bouncy seat. Yet, when my son was just a few days old and milk-drunk, I attempted to gently lay him in his bassinet. To my dismay, as soon as he touched the mattress, his eyes shot open as if to say, “What are you doing, Mom?!”
After countless attempts to soothe him into independence—using swaddling, scented blankets, white noise, and music—I realized that the baby swing was only a temporary fix. Eventually, I surrendered to the idea that I would need to carry my baby more often than not. Surprisingly, this shift in mindset made both of us a lot happier.
I soon learned about the concept of the “fourth trimester,” which explains that human babies aren’t fully ready for life outside the womb. Unlike many animals that can walk shortly after birth, human infants are born helpless and in need of close contact with their caregivers. This understanding helped me embrace the reality of my clingy baby.
To adapt, I explored babywearing, which proved invaluable. Through trial and error, I found a way to wear my baby in a pouch sling. This allowed me to free up my hands and tackle daily tasks, or at least, I became adept at multitasking with one hand!
As I gained experience, I transitioned into a role as a breastfeeding counselor and lactation consultant. One of the most common concerns I hear from new parents is, “Why does my baby cry every time I put him down?” Many parents worry that they are doing something wrong or that their child is somehow flawed. However, it’s essential to remember that all babies are different, and many go through phases where they simply want to be held.
If you find yourself struggling with a clingy baby, take heart. It’s a common experience, and it does pass. By the time they reach four to five months, many babies become more content to be set down for short periods. But every child is unique, and that’s perfectly okay.
In those moments of overwhelm, remind yourself: “It’s normal. You’re doing great.” These affirmations were what I needed to hear during my journey and now, I share them with you. You will get through this phase too.
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In summary, the experience of having a “Velcro baby” is common and often temporary. Embrace the closeness while it lasts, and remember that you’re doing an amazing job navigating the challenges of new parenthood.
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