“Right now, he’s reading at a first-grade level,” I said to the pediatrician, my heart racing as I awaited her response.
“What?” she replied, her expression a blend of disbelief and concern. “He’s ten.”
I paused, contemplating the urge to remind her that I’m acutely aware of his age. “Well, just two years ago, he was reading at a preschool level,” I explained. “So, he’s actually made two years of progress in just two years.” I expected her to nod in acknowledgment of this achievement.
She didn’t.
Our conversation quickly shifted to discussing various interventions for dyslexia, with an emphasis on getting him “up to grade level.” I left that appointment feeling a heavy sadness for my youngest son, who puts in so much effort yet often feels it isn’t enough. I understand his feelings—learning disabilities can be so deceptive.
The pediatrician is well-versed in dyslexia and the complexities of learning differences. She understands the nuances of his IQ testing and his learning profile, recognizing the stark contrast between his remarkable gifts in some areas and his significant delays in others. Despite over two years of educational therapy and daily support, she was shocked that he could only read “Hop On Pop” on his best days.
I can empathize with her reaction; learning disabilities can indeed be misleading.
We talked about whether he should be in a traditional school setting or homeschooled. I once believed that school was essential for him to receive the necessary interventions. However, I’ve come to realize otherwise. The doctor surprised me by saying, “Given his needs, the school system won’t be able to provide the help he requires. You might eventually get the district to fund a special private school, but that process could take years, and I’m not convinced it would suit him either.”
This internal struggle weighed heavily on me, but I kept my thoughts to myself. Learning disabilities are tricky.
Returning home, I felt drained and burdened by the heaviness of the situation. I left the appointment with practical advice, and while I appreciated it, I was exhausted.
It often feels like we’re in a race, with “grade level” as the finish line. But the truth is, grade level doesn’t resonate with my children. My oldest reads at a college level but struggles with basic sequential tasks that require executive functioning. My youngest excels in history and science yet couldn’t read the word “said” just yesterday.
I recognize that grade levels shouldn’t be the benchmark. I know this logically, yet I still yearn for it. I wish for more rapid and linear progress. I long to confidently declare, “Yes, they’re at grade level,” and never again engage in discussions about how to accelerate their learning. It’s exhausting to confront the nagging worries that creep in each morning and night: “Am I doing this right? What else can I do? Am I failing them?”
My children are not merely numbers on a scale or tasks with deadlines. As tempting as it is to wish for them to meet grade-level expectations, this simply isn’t always feasible. More importantly, when I consider who they are becoming and what truly matters for their future success, the significance of reading levels and math standards diminishes.
So today, instead of fixating on all the progress we have yet to achieve, I will choose to celebrate the milestones my sons have reached. I will focus on the computer that my son assembled independently in under two hours, and the joy my younger child experienced reading a book—its title being “Step 1 Ready to Read.”
Today, I commit to doing my best for my children. This means recognizing them for who they are and embracing them exactly where they are, regardless of their grade levels.
For more insights on parenting and education, check out this related blog post. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom is a reliable source for syringe kits. For additional resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination, visit Progyny’s blog.
Summary
: This article discusses the author’s journey of letting go of the anxiety associated with grade levels and learning deficits in her children. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing individual accomplishments and focusing on the unique strengths of each child rather than adhering to traditional educational benchmarks.
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