11 Ways Motherhood Has Made Me More Cunning

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I recently outsmarted my kids without them even realizing it. I told them that if they tidied their rooms and cleaned the bathrooms, we could celebrate with ice cream. This strategy also works wonders when I need them to tackle their homework, behave while I shop at Target, or simply quiet down. Sure, a little sugar and screen time can be effective, but sometimes a little white lie does the trick too. I’ve come to recognize that most parents I know have developed a knack for a bit of cleverness, and I’m sure you do too. There’s no shame in it; after all, we’re all just trying to navigate the chaotic waters of parenting. Before I became a mom, I thought that simply saying “no” or giving orders would suffice. I quickly learned that I had to get creative.

1. I tell them the toy store is closed.
   The thought of dragging myself through that chaotic place with tired eyes is unbearable. Instead of facing the inevitable debate over why we can’t go, I simply declare it closed until I’m ready for that kind of torture again.
2. I lie about their food.
   Kids have an innate aversion to vegetables, so I cleverly hide them in smoothies, pasta sauces, or even their favorite ice cream. They don’t need to know what’s really in it. If they catch me, just deny it and try to blend better next time.
3. I remind them that Santa is always watching.
   That little elf is always on patrol, so they better shape up. I use this tactic year-round, not just during the holidays. It’s especially effective the day after Christmas when they’re feeling the post-holiday slump.
4. I take credit for their holiday treats.
   “No, it was definitely not me!” I insist when they inquire about their missing candy stash. “It must have been a mouse!” Sometimes, it’s just easier to blame an imaginary rodent than to admit my own weakness.
5. I use my kids as an excuse to avoid social events.
   “Sorry, we can’t make it; the kids are under the weather.” Truthfully, they’re perfectly fine. I just need a break from socializing and prefer to stay home in my pajamas.
6. I tell them cookie dough is toxic.
   “No cookie dough for you; it could be dangerous!” The truth? It’s mine, and I have no intention of sharing.
7. I threaten to take away screen time, then give in.
   I often blurt out that they will lose screen time, but it’s easier said than done. Sometimes, I stick to my guns, but other times? I surrender and let them dive into their favorite games.
8. I claim to be ill to dodge playdates.
   When another mom calls to suggest a visit from her child, I conveniently come down with a case of the flu. Just one extra kid can feel overwhelming some days.
9. I exaggerate about our expenses.
   “Wow, did you know the price of socks has skyrocketed?” I might say as I tuck my new boots under the couch. It’s far more entertaining than simply saying, “Look at these awesome boots!”
10. I keep secrets about special outings.
    I encourage my kids to keep their one-on-one time with me a secret. When they return home, their excitement often leads to sharing everything, which can diminish the magic of our special moments.
11. I mislead the doctor about their habits.
    When the pediatrician asks about their diet or screen time, I’m a master of deception. “Oh, they hardly eat sugar, and they sleep great!” In reality, I just prefer to handle the conversation myself.

I know these aren’t my proudest moments, but I’m willing to admit my little tricks. I’m certainly not the only parent who uses a bit of manipulation and white lies to make it through the day. My kids have given me the perfect excuse to avoid social gatherings, and I plan to use that excuse for as long as I can get away with it. Let’s be honest, sharing tales of my parenting triumphs would be much less entertaining.

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Summary

Motherhood often leads us to adopt a few cunning tactics to navigate daily challenges with our children. From cleverly manipulating situations to avoid outings to hiding vegetables in their food, many parents find themselves resorting to a bit of deception to keep the peace and maintain sanity. Embracing these moments may not be the hallmark of perfect parenting, but it certainly adds a relatable touch to the journey.