Since I was just seven years old, I’ve battled with treatment-resistant depression. This struggle has overshadowed so much of my life. Growing up, I often found myself isolated in my room, crying and praying for companionship. Bullying became a constant reality, particularly targeting the sensitive kid who shed tears. I’ve dealt with self-harm, which left lasting scars, and faced moments of darkness that made me feel utterly hopeless. From starving myself to lashing out at loved ones, I’ve endured it all. I even attempted to end my life, which resulted in nothing more than a prolonged sleep. Currently, I’m on seven different psychiatric medications, and last year, I spent two weeks in an outpatient facility seeking help.
One friend insists that I should ditch the meds and rediscover my “true self.” Honestly, this perspective is absurd. My “true self” is often engulfed in suicidal thoughts. It’s the medication that allows me to be a functional parent, a loving partner, and, frankly, a decent human being. You wouldn’t suggest that a diabetic stop their insulin to find freedom in devouring cheesecake. But because my medication affects serotonin rather than insulin, it’s deemed acceptable to imply that they alter my identity. Insulin does the same – it keeps you alive.
I’ve also been told that yoga can help me maintain my sanity. If that were true, the Beatles would have never evolved past Sgt. Pepper’s. While I recognize that some yoga might be beneficial, it won’t prevent me from succumbing to suicidal thoughts if I remove my medications. When I last stopped taking even one medication, my life spiraled – I napped excessively, yelled at my kids, and faced severe digestive issues. I doubt yoga can remedy that.
Some have suggested light therapy, which is typically effective for those whose depression stems from a lack of sunlight, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. While I might experience some seasonal blues, my struggles continued even during the summer months when I sought outpatient treatment. Sunlight won’t fix my brain, nor will any fancy light device.
Then there’s the Electronic Freedom Technique, which involves tapping while focusing on your problems. They say it’s acupressure, but I’m skeptical. And don’t even get me started on essential oils. I’m familiar with lavender and patchouli, but the idea that they could cure my depression is laughable. I need targeted and scientifically-backed interventions, not vague remedies. If you don’t understand the terms “serotonin reuptake inhibitor” or the roles of oxytocin and norepinephrine in brain chemistry, then please take your essential oil recommendations elsewhere.
Speaking of serotonin, did you know it’s produced in the gut? I’m aware! So, no, I’m not tossing my pill bottles away. No trendy diet will cure me. While gluten may upset my stomach due to non-celiac gluten intolerance, it’s not the magical solution to my mental health. I’ve tried restrictive diets like Paleo and total elimination diets, and guess what? I still faced relentless anxiety and despair.
And let’s not forget exercise. Yes, I could use more physical activity, but I recently managed to hike a mountain in North Carolina, so I’m not in terrible shape. I used to run eight miles daily, and even then, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Exercise alone won’t save me, and it’s frankly insulting to imply that it should.
So please, don’t advise me to stop my medications. Don’t throw out random solutions you’ve heard in passing or read online. My depression is treatment-resistant, and I rely on medication to manage it. When I take those medications, my life is manageable. Without them, it’s a different story entirely. I’ll continue to take my prescribed medications, thank you very much.
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Summary
This article highlights the frustration of dealing with treatment-resistant depression and the unhelpful advice often given, such as trying yoga or other alternative remedies. It emphasizes the importance of medication in managing mental health and the misconceptions surrounding depression and treatment.
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