Being a parent doesn’t always mean being strict. While I have my share of rules that I generally enforce, I also believe in being flexible. If my 9-year-old, for example, asks me nicely to pick up his clothes because he’s too worn out, I’m likely to oblige. And when my younger son, with his adorable new haircut, tells me I’m pretty in my dress, I’ll happily give him a lollipop even if it’s not dessert time. Sure, it’s clear that I indulge them.
Financially, I can’t shower them with countless toys, but I do my best to ensure they have what they enjoy—be it video games, ice cream, or other treats. After all, they are my world, and they should feel that way.
Children are, by nature, a bit self-centered. They often scream over seemingly trivial matters, but that’s simply because they haven’t yet mastered impulse control. Their brains are still developing, and I strive to be patient. While it’s crucial to provide structure, I also need to understand where they’re coming from and empathize with their feelings. It’s a tricky balance, for sure.
And let’s face it, they’re just so cute! When my 3-year-old wants me to cuddle with him during his nap, how can I say no? Or when my 9-year-old has a nightmare, I allow him to sleep in my room for comfort—often for several nights afterward. Am I a pushover? Maybe. But one thing I am firm on is that I won’t let my kids act like jerks.
It’s not merely about manners; real manners stem from a foundation of kindness and respect. So, how do I nurture these values in my children? For starters, we have open discussions about feelings in our home. I probably talk about emotions more than they’d like! But understanding feelings is essential. When they misbehave—whether it’s ignoring a request, hitting each other, or rejecting a meal they asked for—I want to get to the root of the issue.
Sometimes they might not be able to express themselves in the moment, and yes, there are times when discipline is necessary. But we don’t punish them for their feelings. Once they’re able to articulate what’s bothering them, they generally do a great job of explaining it to me.
By respecting their feelings, I’m teaching them empathy and kindness. This, in turn, helps them become good listeners—not just to me, but also to their teachers and friends. My approach to parenting sets the stage for how they will treat others. If that makes me seem overly indulgent, so be it.
What I truly desire is for my kids to feel loved, secure, and cherished. I genuinely believe that by showering them with unconditional love—filling them up with it—they will have even more to share with those around them.
I’m not claiming to be a perfect parent. I’m simply navigating this complex journey of motherhood. But I can confidently say that whatever my approach is—even if it includes a fair amount of pampering—seems to be yielding positive results. My kids are developing into kind individuals, good friends, and responsible students. One day, I hope they grow into men who prioritize kindness and respect.
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In summary, while I may be lenient and indulge my children, I remain committed to ensuring they grow into kind, respectful individuals.
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