Dear Higher Power, Cosmic Force, or any benevolent entity up there who might actually be tuning in, unlike my kids:
I find myself on my knees, seeking your guidance in this challenging journey of motherhood. Yes, I might be simultaneously scrubbing dried oatmeal from the carpet, but don’t confuse my multitasking for a lack of sincerity.
Grant me the fortitude today, dear Universe — physical strength to carry my spirited 4-year-old across the grocery store parking lot as she kicks and screams about a pony cookie, claiming she won’t be my friend if she doesn’t get it. Also, bless me with the emotional stamina to validate her feelings instead of losing my temper and letting my frustration bubble over.
In the midst of her tantrum, I ask for the strength to gently restrain her flailing arms with compassion rather than anger. And as she attempts to roundhouse kick me, help me resist the urge to retaliate.
I’m in dire need of patience — more than caffeine, in fact. I need enough patience to rock my baby to sleep peacefully in my arms, even as I bounce and sway, all while my pelvic floor muscles remind me of their limitations. Help me remain calm and not shake him out of sheer exhaustion, even when all I want is for him to close his eyes.
We are both utterly drained, dear God. After he finally succumbs to sleep on my perspiring, unshowered body, help me relish in the moment instead of wishing for just one minute to myself, as he is only this little once.
I also crave empathy today, so I can grasp the critical importance of my children’s demands for their sandwiches to be cut into triangles rather than rectangles, even if they just requested rectangles moments ago. Let me remember that I, too, can change my mind — though perhaps not with the same level of dramatic flair.
When one of them bolts away from me in a parking lot, grant me the ability to chase after them in my flip-flops, appreciating their independence despite the jiggling of my post-baby belly. And when my son decides that wet toilet paper from the toilet is a delectable snack, please help me suppress my gag reflex — I can’t handle any more messes, even if it’s my own.
As my daughter dons sparkly tights with a tank top over a tiger T-shirt and accessorizes with a knit beanie and jelly sandals, give me the wisdom to celebrate her creativity rather than worrying she’ll become one of those quirky teens reciting poetry about her privileged upbringing in coffee shops.
I ask for the patience to respond kindly to all 602 questions they’ll throw at me today instead of reacting with irritation. Questions about why cats are called cats and the difference between boobs and nipples may seem trivial, but let me remember that curiosity is their pathway to brilliance, even if it drives me to the brink.
Instead of berating myself for not being a perfect mom, please guide my inner voice to speak kindly, even while my outer voice shouts, “Pick up your toys or they’re going in the trash!” As one child gnaws on my arm and another pretends to be a rabid animal, please grant me a glass of wine — I could really use it to fend off negative thoughts.
Help me manage their loud, pterodactyl-like shrieks with laughter and fun instead of threats, especially when they shout “penis” in a restaurant. And when they fling bits of macaroni across the table, remind me that their poor manners don’t reflect on me; they inherited that from their father.
Speaking of which, bless my husband with my affection, even when he complains about being tired after a full night’s sleep with his mouth wide open. And let my libido rise when he wipes down the high chair for the second time.
As I gaze at my post-baby body, a patchwork of under-eye circles, stretch marks, and sagging breasts, help me not to resent my children for it. Instead, let me be grateful for the beautiful gifts they are. After all, when I’m older and perhaps in need of care, I don’t want to screw this up for them.
Amen.
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In summary, parenting is a wild ride filled with challenges, demands, and moments of joy. Seeking strength, patience, and empathy can help us navigate this journey with grace and humor.
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