Updated: October 28, 2023
Originally Published: June 15, 2015
Not long ago, a fellow mom asked if I ever faced judgment from other parents because I tend to embrace my quirky side. Did I worry that my uniqueness would reflect poorly on my child? My answer? Absolutely, yes.
I’ve encountered that judgment more times than I can count. If any of those uptight critics are reading this right now, I’m sure they’re rolling their eyes. After all, I just used the word “hell,” and in their world, that’s probably off-limits for a “respectable” mom. But you know what? I don’t care.
Honestly, I’ve never once paused to think, “What will the neighbors think?” Why? Because I truly don’t give a flying fig about their opinions. Yes, I just said “fig.” Nothing else captures how little I care about the thoughts of those who are quick to judge.
I wasn’t always this way. Like many, I went through phases where fitting in felt paramount. Growing up in a tiny private school, I was surrounded by kids who felt like family, and I was free to be myself. That changed when I transitioned to public school in sixth grade, where I suddenly felt the pressure to conform. I wanted to dress like everyone else and act like everyone else.
That quest for acceptance was short-lived. After enduring a perm that I was told was “in,” I quickly realized that trying to blend in was futile—especially when I stood a foot taller than most. So, I had a choice: pretend to be someone I wasn’t or embrace my individuality.
I chose the latter. I found my tribe—other kids who were also doing their own thing. Those were my people, and I was happy. I continued to express my quirks without worrying about judgment. Some adored me; others didn’t. And that was perfectly fine because I was being authentic.
Years later, after bringing my first child into the world, I found myself in a whole new battle. Motherhood can be overwhelming, and I fell into the trap of trying to be the “perfect” mom. I sought validation from other parents, signing up for all the trendy Mommy and Me classes and adopting the latest parenting fads in hopes of gaining acceptance into the elusive “Mommy Club.”
And you know what? It was exhausting. I was drained from the effort to fit in, not to mention from the daily demands of motherhood.
A pivotal moment came when my son was about four years old. We found ourselves at a McDonald’s play area where he got into a scuffle with another little boy. Surrounded by a group of “popular” moms, I tried to guide my son to resolve the conflict peacefully, but when I asked the other boy’s mother for help, she dismissed it with a “Boys will be boys.”
In that moment, I snapped. I told my son that if that boy hit him again, he should defend himself. The reaction from the other moms was shock, but I suddenly realized: I didn’t need their approval. I wasn’t there to win a popularity contest; I was there to raise a kind, resilient child.
From that day forward, I embraced my authentic self again. I didn’t have to conform to anyone else’s standards of motherhood. I learned that being true to myself was the best gift I could give my son. It taught him that it’s okay to stand up for yourself and to be unique.
People will either love you or hate you. I’ve come to terms with the fact that some people may not appreciate my humor, my candidness, or my quirks, like the way I sometimes joke about serious topics (because laughter can be healing).
But you know what? Those are my quirks, and I’m proud of them. I want my son to understand that being authentic is what matters most. If some people don’t resonate with who you are, that’s their loss. You’ll find your tribe—people who appreciate you for you, not for a facade you feel pressured to maintain.
At the end of the day, it’s crucial to feel good about who you see in the mirror. You live with yourself every day, so why not embrace the real you?
If you’re curious about topics like pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the March of Dimes. And if you’re exploring at-home insemination options, consider checking out CryoBaby’s selection of insemination kits for a reliable start.
In summary, being a “weird” mom isn’t something to fear; it’s a badge of honor. Celebrate your quirks, find your community, and raise your child to be true to themselves. After all, authenticity is the best gift you can give to yourself and your family.
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