Hey Jason,
I know it’s been a rough week for you.
The other night, I was cozied up on the sofa with my 7-year-old daughter, sipping on some warm tea while watching the Olympics. Among the incredible athletes was Mia, a remarkable gymnast who, like my daughter, is an adoptee. There we were, captivated by Mia’s stunning performance, and I could see my little girl’s eyes sparkle with excitement. It was a moment I’ll treasure forever.
Then, you made a comment that really struck a nerve. As the camera shifted to Mia’s family, you remarked that the people she calls mom and dad are actually her grandparents.
Let me clarify something for you: the reason she calls them mom and dad is because they are indeed her mom and dad.
When folks in the adoption community, like myself, called you out on social media (a little thing we like to call a clapback), you just kept digging deeper until your employer finally told you to tone it down, delete your tweet, and issue an apology.
I suspect you did what you had to do for your own reputation, but I doubt you fully understand why so many of us in the adoption community are feeling frustrated right now.
Allow Me to Educate You
I am a mom by adoption, not just an adoptive mom. Adoption was a singular legal process that made me the mother of my children. I don’t dwell in a constant state of “adoptive parenting.”
I’m a mom by adoption, but nothing I do is fake. There’s no such thing as fake love or fake care in my household. I don’t clean up pretend messes, nor do I fake cuddle my daughters. My parenting is genuine, whether it’s reading them bedtime stories or comforting them after a bad dream.
I’m a mom by adoption, but I’m not their only mother. I recognize that my kids have a rich tapestry of relationships, and I don’t expect them to choose between the parents who brought them into this world and those of us who adopted them.
I’m a mom by adoption, but I’m not an irrelevant one. Every moment I spend with my children, guiding and cheering for them, matters. I may not fully grasp the importance of my presence yet, but I know they need to hear someone special celebrating their name. I’m not perfect, but I’m always trying, just like every parent out there.
I proudly call myself a mom by adoption to three amazing, spirited children. Whatever names or terms they choose to use for me or their biological parents, I embrace it all. I’ve taught them that people like you, who can’t seem to accept that adoption creates authentic families, are limited in their understanding of life.
Your narrow view doesn’t define us.
The little girl next to me on the couch? She’s my real kid. Not my adopted kid or my sort-of kid. She’s my kid.
I’m her mom—no qualifiers needed.
So, next time you find yourself with a massive audience, narrating a significant event, I urge you to show respect for the talented young people representing our country and their real parents—those who cheer for them from the stands.
As a mother, I offer you some free advice: Stay in your lane. Don’t target Mia and her family. And if you can’t say something nice, maybe it’s best to keep your opinions off social media.
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In Summary
Being a mom by adoption is a profound journey, one filled with love, challenges, and an irreplaceable bond. It’s essential to respect the diverse forms of motherhood and the unique families that exist in our world.
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