Hey there, my little one,
I was just trying to steal a moment of quiet in the bathroom when I caught a glimpse of your whispered words. You probably thought I wouldn’t hear, or maybe you just didn’t care — but let me assure you, I heard you loud and clear. When you told your sibling, “Mom is about to lose it,” I didn’t feel remorse or sadness. Instead, I thought, you bet I’m about to lose it!
Yes, my dear child, I’m on the verge of losing my cool, and though you didn’t ask, allow me to explain why.
I’m about to lose it because I’ve asked you approximately 78 times to pick up those dirty socks from the kitchen counter. Seriously, those brown relics are still sitting there, right in the middle of where we prepare our meals. I mean, come on! Cleaning happens in a space free of stinky, fungus-infested rags.
I’m about to lose it because when I went to use the restroom, I sat on a puddle of pee. Not only can you not remember to lift the seat, but you also can’t be bothered to wipe it down afterward. I know you see that mess — don’t pretend otherwise! Remember that time you were resting your chin on the toilet seat, watching bubbles in your pee? Yep, I walked right out of there without losing my mind, but that’s only because I’ve come to terms with how weird and gross kids can be.
And let’s not forget how I’ve asked you more times than I can count to shut the door, yet it remains wide open. I can practically hear the flies and mosquitoes buzzing in, making themselves at home, while the electric company chuckles at us.
I’m about to lose it because when I say “no,” your response is always a relentless string of “but why not?” Your whining is reaching a frequency only dogs can hear.
I’m about to lose it because you and your sibling have turned tattling into a competitive sport, and wrestling until someone cries seems to be your idea of fun.
I’m about to lose it because I’ve reminded you 26 times to brush your teeth, comb your hair, make your bed, and — for heaven’s sake! — wear clean underwear, yet here we are at 2 PM, and none of that has been done.
And there’s dog poop in the family room, with a mysterious odor of urine wafting from… who knows where? Is it the couch? The carpet? Is it me? I can’t even tell anymore.
I’m about to lose it because it feels like everyone is in everyone’s business, and I haven’t had a moment to think, pee, or eat in peace for what feels like a decade.
Now, you might think I’m always on the brink of madness, but let me remind you of the times I’ve managed to keep my cool. Like when you decided to give yourself permanent marker tattoos right before dinner — I didn’t lose it. Or that time you chose the backyard as your personal restroom, despite the real bathroom being just a few feet away. Nope, not even then.
And who could forget the indoor water balloon fight? You would think I’d explode, but somehow I managed to stay calm, even though every fiber of my being was screaming, “Have you completely lost your minds?!”
You see, there are many moments when I don’t lose it, even if it would be completely understandable for any mom to reach her breaking point. But eventually, a person can only say “stop hitting your brother” and “why is there a toy in the dog bowl?” so many times before they start to unravel.
There’s only so many bedtime interruptions for a glass of water in a different cup, an itchy foot, or inquiries about whether dogs comprehend English or Spanish. And there are only so many times I can hear, “Mom, he won’t stop licking me!” before I scream, “Enough already!”
So yes, I am about to lose it, and that, my dear child, is the reason why. Got it? Good. Now, could you please pick up those crusty socks, shut the door, and brush your teeth? Pretty please?
Because Mama really needs to sneak some candy bars in the closet to avoid actually losing her cool.
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Summary
In this candid letter, a mom humorously expresses her frustrations with her children’s antics and the daily chaos of parenting. From dirty socks to bathroom mishaps, she highlights the relatable struggles many parents face while maintaining her sense of humor. Ultimately, she seeks understanding and cooperation from her kids, illustrating the delicate balance of patience and exasperation inherent in motherhood.
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