“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…” Who would have thought that I would find more solace in a forgetful blue fish than in a classic Disney princess? As a parent raising a child on the autism spectrum, I often feel like I’m battling the waves instead of gliding along with them.
Access to support services for children like my son can be an uphill climb. It often feels like a daily challenge just to secure the right resources. Our family dynamic is far from ordinary, and we frequently encounter judgment from those who don’t understand our reality. There are days when the weight of it all feels too heavy; I sometimes feel like I’m sinking. Facing the chaos can be overwhelming, and I often ponder where I will find the resilience to face another day.
Interestingly, it’s the most trivial tasks that tend to make me feel like I’m going under—like doing the dishes, for example.
Just last night, I walked into the kitchen to confront an intimidating pile of dirty plates. At that moment, I felt utterly defeated by the sight of those stained mugs and chipped bowls. I closed the door behind me, muttering some unrepeatable phrases, and headed to bed in a huff.
But when I opened that kitchen door again this morning, I discovered that the dish mountain was not nearly as daunting as I had imagined. My pessimism had skewed my perception. What I really should have done was to declare, “So what!”
Embracing a more carefree attitude can be quite liberating. More often than not, there’s a silver lining to almost every situation—even the dishes.
So what if I go to bed with dirty pots in the sink? In the grand scheme of things, does it truly matter? Not really. If I let them pile up, my husband might finally relent and buy the dishwasher I’ve been eyeing for ages. That’s a strategy worth considering!
So what if I miss out on the Sunday night television buzz? I can always binge-watch later in the week and skip those pesky commercials. That’s a win in my book.
So what if my morning shower happens at 10:30 p.m. because my primary focus is getting my son to school with minimal stress? I was never a morning person anyway.
So what if my husband and I have to take time off work for an afternoon date because we can’t find a sitter at night? We often snag good deals at the local pub midweek!
So what if we alternate family gatherings because large events can feel overwhelming? This allows us to enjoy quality time with our daughters while the partner at home gets the remote control for the evening.
So what if our vacations are predictable and consist of returning to the same destination year after year? At least we know what to expect, avoiding any unpleasant surprises.
So what if I can’t wear heels anymore? I have to be ready to intercept my child or snatch the remote from flying across the room; blisters won’t help with that!
So what if I need to be home by 10:30 p.m. after a night out because my son worries about my whereabouts? Honestly, I’ve grown to appreciate it. I prefer being tucked up in bed anyway!
So what if I had to leave my job? I wouldn’t be here sharing this story with you if I hadn’t made that choice.
So what if my son prefers to communicate via text instead of face-to-face conversations? I can save his messages as cherished memories and use them for a laugh when he’s older.
So what if I spend a good part of my day filling out forms and making calls to meet my son’s needs? It’s making this mama bear stronger!
So what if my son insists on wearing only specific socks due to sensory sensitivities? When we find a pair he likes, we stock up—no more endless searches for mismatched socks.
So what if we’ve watched “Harry Potter” countless times? At least I’m now armed with the spell to ward off Dementors—“Expecto Patronum!”
So what if my son attends a special education school? That environment provides him with the best opportunities to learn and thrive. Ultimately, that’s all we want for our children—to feel happy and accepted.
So what if I lose friends because of our limited social calendar? True friends will stick around, and I would rather have a few genuine connections than a crowd of fair-weather friends.
So what if we don’t fit the mold of a “normal” family? Who defines normal anyway? I’ve come to realize that everyone has their unique struggles, regardless of how perfect their lives may seem on social media.
So what if my son is autistic? He is still my incredible child, a unique individual who deserves love and acceptance. While the diagnosis was initially overwhelming, I won’t let society’s judgments dictate how he sees himself.
So what if others question my choices? They are not living my life or facing my challenges.
Next time you find yourself feeling submerged, try saying “so what?” and just swim along. Embrace the freedom of letting the tide carry you for a bit. Picture yourself relaxing on an inflatable raft, cocktail in hand, humming along like that little blue fish: “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”
As mothers, we don’t always need to fight against the current. It can be exhausting! So from one blue fish to another, remember: “When life gets you down, do you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!”
For more insights on parenting and navigating challenges, check out this post about parenting strategies. If you’re considering at-home insemination, you can find reputable products at Make a Mom. Additionally, for comprehensive resources on fertility, visit Johns Hopkins Fertility Center.
In summary, embracing a positive mindset can transform the challenges of parenting an autistic child into opportunities for growth and joy. Remember to take a step back, breathe, and simply keep swimming.
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