About 15 years ago, I had a heart-stopping moment when I lost my 3-year-old son in a department store. Those five minutes felt like an eternity, but thanks to the kindness of some strangers who helped me call out his name, we found him hiding in a clothes rack. I was shaking, tears streaming down my cheeks, overwhelmed with embarrassment and guilt. But those strangers comforted me, saying things like, “It happens to everyone. Little ones can be so quick!” and “Don’t be too hard on yourself; you’re doing fine. He’s safe!”
Recently, while recounting this experience to a new mom, she shared something that truly saddened me. She said, “I sometimes hesitate to take my child out because if something went wrong, I worry that strangers wouldn’t be so understanding. I fear they would blame and shame me. They might even post on social media about how ‘this terrible mother lost her child in a store today.’ It’s not my kid I’m scared for, it’s me.”
It’s disheartening to realize how our parenting landscape has changed. When did we become fearful of parenting in public? Are social media backlash and the judgment from so-called perfect parents making us afraid to step outside? It seems so.
I often wonder about my boys as they bike around the neighborhood. Will someone question where their parents are? If they’re playing at the park without adult supervision, will a well-meaning neighbor snap their picture or call the authorities? And if they get hurt, how quickly will I be blamed for not being there?
When we are out and about, if they accidentally get hurt on a playground or at a theme park, will I be judged on my parenting skills? The shift from receiving sympathy to needing to defend myself against accusations is frightening.
Parenting out of fear is not a sustainable method. Keeping children confined indoors because the world seems dangerous doesn’t cultivate confidence or resilience. Ironically, we are now keeping our kids inside due to our fear of parenting in public spaces. The notion that we have to be vigilant 24/7 or else we’re deemed unfit is absurd.
Ultimately, these are your children. Raise them as you see fit. Don’t let fear dictate your parenting choices or make you question your decisions. Worrying about improbable “what-ifs” will only wear you down and leave you bitter.
While it’s true that it takes a village to raise a child, if some villagers are armed with pitchforks of judgment, it’s time to find a new village. Don’t allow fear of judgment to stop you from letting your kids explore the world. They deserve to experience life without their parents being paralyzed by the fear of not being perfect. That kind of anxiety should never factor into parenting because it simply won’t yield positive results.
For more insights on parenting, you might find this post helpful. And if you’re considering options for starting a family, check out reputable resources like March of Dimes for fertility treatments or Make a Mom for at-home insemination kits.
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