I have a little secret to share. I’ve been a mother for nearly a decade, and I’ve never once hired a babysitter. Yes, you read that right. Not a single time have I paid someone to look after my kids.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to position myself as some kind of supermom. I have family nearby who can step in when needed, and my work-from-home schedule has always revolved around my family. So, the need to hire a babysitter just never arose for me—though I recognize that many moms don’t have that luxury.
One of the reasons I hesitated to hire a sitter was the cost. In my area, decent babysitters charge around $15 an hour, and if we had any extra funds, I preferred to spend it on my kids—like swim lessons or a fun trip to the amusement park. Any money I might allocate to myself usually went toward practical items, like new yoga pants or, let’s be honest, some much-needed underwear.
But here’s my second confession: I genuinely regret not having hired a babysitter. It was foolish of me to dismiss my own needs for so long, thinking that I didn’t deserve to spend money on myself.
I’ve been the mom who never takes a breather—the one who convinced herself that this was the best approach. I felt guilty about spending money on childcare, believing I should save every extra penny for my kids. I even believed, despite my shame in admitting it, that I was a better mother for not seeking help and that my kids would be better off being cared for solely by family.
Looking back, I realize how misguided those thoughts were. They stemmed from the assumption that my needs held less value than everyone else’s—and that’s simply not true.
I now understand that I could have greatly benefited from some uninterrupted “me time.” Just a few hours to be an adult—driving around alone, not having to listen to endless requests for snacks or the dreaded, “Are we there yet?” I craved the mundane tasks, like shopping for milk, without my little ones clinging to my leg or whining in my ear.
There were countless days—especially during periods when the kids were sick or my partner was working late—that I felt utterly worn out. I remember feeling like a robot, going through the same motions over and over, listening to the same arguments. I found myself suffocating under the weight of it all, desperate to escape the confines of my home.
Looking back, I understand now that my sanity was worth the cost of hiring someone to watch my kids for just a few hours. Why didn’t I realize that sooner?
Sure, there were times when our budget was tight, and I know many mothers face the same challenge. I also understand the struggle of finding trustworthy childcare—someone you can genuinely feel comfortable leaving your children with.
But what if prioritizing self-care could make things possible? What if you said no to a few extra toys for the kids or cut back on some other nonessentials? The babysitter you choose doesn’t have to be a miracle worker; it could be a neighborhood teenager or even a mother’s helper. You could stay in the house and let them play with your kids in another room, giving yourself a moment of peace—or just lock yourself in your room to scroll through your phone for a bit.
Sometimes, even that short reprieve can make a monumental difference on those days when motherhood feels overwhelming. Honestly, maybe we wouldn’t need to spend so much on wine or chocolate if we reallocated some of that budget to a few hours of childcare. It’s worth considering; you might find that it’s a wash in the end.
In all seriousness, whether it’s hiring a babysitter, dropping the kids off at your parents’ for a day, or simply handing them over to your partner for a few hours on the weekend, you absolutely deserve it. There’s nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. Moms who never take breaks often end up feeling depleted. I know this from experience—too many times.
What we all want is to be the best parents we can be, showering our kids with love, listening attentively, and creating cherished memories. But we can’t do that if we’re running on empty for days on end without help or respite. It just isn’t feasible.
So, I encourage you to seek out help, whether that means hiring someone or asking for assistance. It may seem like there’s no time for yourself, and you might start to doubt the importance of self-care. But there’s no need to martyr yourself.
In fact, the bravest thing you can do is prioritize your well-being. You’re worth it, mama.
If you’re interested in learning more about this topic, check out our other post here. Also, for those considering at-home insemination, you can find great options at Make a Mom. For further information on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource on pregnancy.
Summary
This article discusses the importance of self-care for mothers and how hiring a babysitter, even occasionally, can be a vital investment in their well-being. It encourages moms to prioritize their needs and seek help to avoid burnout, ultimately leading to better parenting.
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