It was around 2 p.m. when I found myself lying in bed, battling the flu. My 9-year-old son, Ethan, nudged me gently and said, “I know you’re not feeling well. If you give me some screen time, I promise I won’t bother you.”
Rolling over, I caught a glimpse of him in his slightly oversized blue dinosaur T-shirt and shorts, arms crossed defiantly. His expression was serious, revealing he was not joking.
At that moment, my wife, Sarah, was out with our two youngest daughters, leaving me to manage Ethan. I had agreed to let him stay home because he didn’t want to go grocery shopping, but I hadn’t anticipated his unfinished tasks on the “screen time list” I had set up — a list he now intended to renegotiate with me, his sick father.
“Did you finish your list?” I asked, half-heartedly.
“I did, like… most of it,” he replied, a telltale sign he had barely scratched the surface of what was required.
Earlier this year, we had bought our kids tablets, convinced they would engage with educational content. In reality, they’ve become a means to enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet. When I first started parenting nearly a decade ago, I would put on cartoons for a break. Now, with tablets, I can turn my children into quiet little zombies for hours.
Admittedly, the tranquility that descends when all three kids are glued to their screens is blissful. But herein lies the problem: those devices are just as addictive as street drugs. While it’s fantastic for me when I need a breather, it’s a continual struggle to keep them from becoming screen-obsessed.
These days, my kids don’t watch Saturday morning cartoons. Instead, they tune in to absurd YouTube channels where people play video games or unwrap toys, which often appears utterly nonsensical to me. The endless stream of entertainment available online is overwhelming. Unlike my childhood, when Saturday cartoons ended with the afternoon shows, today’s kids have access to an infinite amount of mindless content.
To manage screen time, we devised a chart that turns chores into a form of currency. My kids have little interest in money; they crave those precious minutes of screen time. Ethan can earn screen time for completing tasks like taking out the trash or tidying up his room. They must first accomplish a daily list that includes brushing their teeth, getting dressed, and engaging in something creative or active. In our home, screen time has become the driving force.
I must admit, my kids will do almost anything for some screen time. Just the other day, I had Ethan happily picking up dog waste in the yard for a promised 45 minutes of screen enjoyment. However, this has also turned my children into crafty little manipulators who know how to exploit the loopholes in our screen time system.
Since we got the tablets, my daughter has faked illness several times because when she was genuinely sick, we allowed her some screen time while she rested. Ethan has lied about completing his tasks just to gain access to his beloved screens. I’ve found them hiding in the bathroom, pretending to be busy while they sneak in some gaming time. They’ve even attempted to reset the timer on the iPad when I wasn’t looking.
In one instance, Ethan approached me with a proposition, saying he wouldn’t tell Sarah about the time I accidentally sprayed her flowers with weed killer if I granted him some screen time. I learned my lesson about trusting him with secrets. My daughter even offered to let me take a nap so she could have uninterrupted screen time — that was a tempting offer.
Sometimes, negotiating extra screen time feels like bargaining at a market. What started as innocent requests can quickly escalate into full-blown arguments. Despite this, I can’t help but admire their cleverness; we’ve inadvertently raised screen-obsessed little negotiators.
As I lay there sick, Ethan must have sensed my weakened state, thinking I’d be an easy target for his demands. I sat up and looked at him, arms now crossed. When our eyes met, he tried to maintain his composure but eventually looked away.
“If you didn’t finish your list, you can’t have screens. We both know that’s how it works,” I told him.
His shoulders drooped and he began to whine, “Please, Dad.”
I raised my hand to stop him. “Ethan, you know I’m not feeling well. It’s not fair to ask me for screens when I’m down. You don’t kick a man when he’s down.”
He started to argue but I cut him off. “We understand each other here.”
After some back and forth about what he had completed, I helped him realize that his remaining tasks weren’t substantial. I offered him some additional screen time if he could microwave me some soup.
“Help me, and I’ll help you. That’s how life works,” I said, and despite a reluctant agreement, we shook hands as if sealing a significant deal.
Ethan smiled and headed to the kitchen to make the soup.
In a world where technology often dominates parenting, it’s crucial to find a balance. While screen time can offer respite, it’s important to set boundaries and encourage creativity. For more insights on balancing screen time and parenting, you might find this post helpful.
In conclusion, navigating screen time with kids can feel like a constant battle, but with a little creativity, we can foster a healthier relationship with technology.
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