As a parent, I engage in various activities with my children, but I firmly believe in the importance of allowing them ample free time. I don’t pack our schedules to the brim, I rarely join them on the playground, and it’s uncommon for me to provide them with constant ideas for how to keep busy. Instead, I encourage them to think creatively and have instilled the idea that if they find themselves bored, that’s on them. More often than not, I simply let them be, resisting the urge to jump in. After all, how will they learn to think independently? Some of their most cherished memories have emerged from these unstructured moments.
After the demanding years of nurturing my little ones—feeding, holding, and comforting them—it was a breath of fresh air when they reached an age where they could entertain themselves. I recall the first time my eldest discovered the Tupperware drawer; he spent nearly an hour exploring it, taking everything out and putting it back again. It was a glorious moment for me as I enjoyed some strawberries while chatting with a friend on the phone. This kind of play became something I encouraged frequently.
As parents, we already do so much and plan plenty of activities. Free time is a precious asset that contributes to a happy household. It’s a gift to have moments that are devoid of structure or strict guidelines. Allowing my kids to enjoy free time has benefited both them and me.
It Fosters Independence
Watching my kids tackle challenges on their own is incredibly rewarding. I’ve seen them face a problem, pause to think, and then take steps to resolve it. While I sometimes feel tempted to ask what they’re contemplating, I’ve learned that patience pays off. Observing them work through their thoughts can reveal delightful insights. For instance, I witnessed my son figure out that by giving our dog a stick, he could distract him from chasing after his golf ball while he practiced his swing.
It Offers Me Freedom
While I actively spend time with my kids, I also need moments to recharge. I don’t have the energy to be fully immersed in their activities all the time. Like every mother, I require downtime, so when I declare “free time,” it also means I take a step back. It doesn’t imply they can’t ask for my help or engage with me; rather, it means I might be reading, writing, or even knitting while they play. This way, we’re all rejuvenated and better able to tackle the evening routines, even if we still struggle a bit.
It Encourages Sibling Bonds
Without a packed schedule, my children have learned to rely on each other for entertainment. They understand they have the entire day to either play together or alone, and they often choose collaboration. Sure, they still have their disagreements, but when I stay out of their conflicts, they tend to resolve them more swiftly than if I intervened.
It Stimulates Imagination
Free time allows them to explore their creativity. Watching my children lose themselves in imaginative play—like pretending to be heroic figures saving entire populations of ladybugs—is everything. It’s a form of creativity that can’t be manufactured or imposed; it comes from within.
They Create Their Own Fun
Because our days aren’t filled with non-stop activities, my kids aren’t constantly wondering about the next exciting thing. I’ve noticed that when there’s a packed itinerary, it can lead to a “What’s next?” mentality that results in cranky moods all around, especially during vacations.
I Love Observing
I find joy in watching my children play together or hearing their laughter as they zoom down the street on their bikes. Even if it appears I’m not involved, I very much am. Sometimes I join in, but I also cherish simply being present, absorbed in my hobbies while they engage with each other. They often seem more focused on one another when I’m not directly participating, perhaps because they don’t have anyone to complain to.
Life can get busy, and while we do have our hectic days, I strive not to over-schedule for everyone’s sake. There’s something truly special about getting lost in activities like reading a good book, observing ants at work, or doodling in a coloring book. Free time grants my kids the space to simply be kids. They will have plenty of time in the future to feel the pressure of busy schedules, but their childhood should remain a time of fun and exploration.
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Summary
Allowing children free time is essential for fostering independence, creativity, sibling relationships, and personal recharge for parents. It provides a balance between structured parenting and the freedom for kids to explore the world on their own terms.
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