What is the Frenzied Parent Phenomenon (FPP)?
THE FRENZIED PARENT PHENOMENON (FPP): A state of utter exasperation where a parent feels so overwhelmed by their children that they contemplate shouting, escaping, or even whimsically considering sending the unruly child to a far-off land. This common condition is often marked by flushed cheeks, throbbing temples, sudden grays, an inability to articulate thoughts, chronic fatigue, and a profound existential crisis.
Triggers for FPP
The triggers for FPP can include, but are not limited to, the following scenarios:
- Endless “Why?” questions that stretch beyond a half hour.
- A child who, inspired by their favorite show, insists they possess claws and attempts to use them on everything from furniture to unsuspecting family members.
- Kids demanding snacks as if they’re starving, despite having just declared themselves “full” moments ago.
- Constant sibling squabbles.
- Jealousy among siblings.
- Rivalry that seems to erupt at a moment’s notice.
- Simply having siblings present. (Oh dear.)
- Deliberately making bizarre or gross noises with their mouths, including clucking and popping.
- A child sprinting around, often naked, while emitting siren sounds and ignoring all warnings.
- Sassy remarks.
- Sassiness while in timeout.
- Sneaking out of timeout.
- Informing parents that timeout is ridiculous.
- An inexplicable inability to follow bedtime instructions.
- Using Mom’s new lipstick as a makeshift marker on her freshly arrived Amazon book.
- Drawing tiger stripes on their own face with a Sharpie just before a dental appointment.
- “Accidentally” spilling chocolate milk on the couch because “the dog likes it.”
- An orchestra of screeches, cries, and fights that only seem to be triggered by a ringing phone.
- Reluctance to get into a car seat.
- Resistance to taking a bath.
- Refusal to eat anything served.
- Rejection of any and all requests from parents, no matter how reasonable they seem.
Immediate Relief Strategies
For immediate relief, a traditional holistic approach is suggested. Commonly recommended remedies include:
- Setting up a Date Night.
- Indulging in large quantities of ice cream, chips, or sweets in solitude.
- Enjoying a glass of wine in the tub after the kids are asleep, complete with bubbles, magazines, and soft lighting.
- Venting frustrations on a parenting blog like this one, which also includes tips from other parents.
- Engaging in some colorful language when the kids are out of earshot.
- Blaming the spouse or grandparents for raising such spirited children.
- Repeating the comforting mantra that “this too shall pass.”
Understanding FPP
While the Frenzied Parent Phenomenon is widely acknowledged, experiences can vary greatly from family to family. It’s important for parents to approach these chaotic moments with humor, a little understanding, and perhaps a secret stash of chocolate (which can be hidden away in the laundry room or pantry).
In its advanced stages, FPP may hint at the onset of Empty Nest Syndrome. It’s not unusual for parents to experience a Mid-Life Crisis as they navigate the later phases of this complex and often misunderstood condition. For further insights, you can refer to our other blog post, which delves deeper into how parents express their frustrations through various quirky choices.
This article was originally published on July 11, 2016.
Additional Resources
Hey, are you ready for more? Check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination tips. And if you’re looking for quality supplies, Make A Mom offers a reliable selection of at-home insemination kits.
Summary
The Frenzied Parent Phenomenon (FPP) describes the overwhelming feelings parents experience due to their children’s antics, leading to a humorous yet relatable exploration of parenting challenges. Recognizing these symptoms and finding effective coping strategies can help maintain sanity in the chaotic journey of parenthood.
Leave a Reply