Dear Parents,
I owe you an apology.
For every time I dismissed your struggles with statements like “little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.”
For every instance when I reassured the parent anxiously waiting for their baby to crawl or walk with, “It gets tougher once they’re mobile.”
For every moment I told the parent yearning for their child to start talking, “I’d rather not hear Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom a thousand times a day.”
For every time I casually remarked to a parent battling sleepless nights with a baby, “Just wait until they can climb out of their toddler bed.”
For every time I told a potty-training parent, “Diapers were so much easier.”
For every kindergarten parent with a clingy child that I told, “I wish my problems were as simple as a nap.”
And for every time I unintentionally downplayed someone’s challenges, I sincerely apologize.
Because that’s not how we show support.
This photo of my daughter Lily was taken when she was just a month old. She was so small—there aren’t many things smaller than that. But believe me, the challenges I faced during those days felt monumental. Each time someone told me that it would only get harder, a little part of me broke.
Recently, I found myself in a conversation with a group of moms. One of them shared a struggle she was facing. Some nodded in understanding, while others related their own experiences. Some offered helpful advice, and others simply provided reassurance that things would eventually improve. That is what true support looks like.
With that in mind, I have a request.
Let’s abandon the “little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems” mentality. Let’s refrain from belittling each other’s parenting difficulties simply because we’ve moved past them and our current challenges seem more daunting. Let’s not compete with our own sad stories. And, for the love of all that’s good, let’s not tell someone who is struggling that they’re doing it wrong. Just getting through the day is hard enough.
Parenting is incredibly challenging. It can be wonderfully rewarding, but it’s also tough as nails. Some days feel like a whirlwind of chaos, and others might even feel like an actual storm. Instead of critiquing, let’s help one another weather these storms. Let’s listen, uplift, lend a hand, and truly support each other.
I’ve raised tiny tots, like the one in this picture, and now I’m navigating the world with my bigger kids. Soon enough, they’ll be teenagers and adults. While I can’t predict what those years may bring, I’ve learned that the difficulties of parenting vary. Some “little kid problems” felt massive, and some “big kid problems” seemed minor. Hard is relative, and so is good.
So, whether your kids are small or big, I wish for you a day filled with joy and light, and minimal difficulty.
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Summary:
Parenting can be a challenging journey, regardless of the age of our children. Instead of diminishing each other’s struggles, we should offer genuine support to one another. Let’s remember that every phase comes with its own challenges and joys, and focus on uplifting one another.
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