I’ve often heard that money and household chores are the top sources of conflict for couples, but for my partner, Lucas, and me, our biggest debates revolve around who’s more exhausted and the true definition of a “bath.” Just so you know, starting the tub for our kids doesn’t count as bathing them, it’s simply prepping the water. And yes, I’m definitely more tired than he is!
The early years of our marriage were anything but smooth. While many say those years should be the most joyous, they felt more like a series of missteps. It took some time for us to find our rhythm as a married couple while also maintaining our individuality. Once we added kids to the mix, we found ourselves navigating our roles as parents. Essentially, we’re four people trying to make sense of our relationship: ourselves, spouses, co-parents, and individual parents. That’s a lot of identities to juggle, and disagreements are bound to happen.
Despite our efforts to choose our battles wisely, arguments are inevitable—and beneficial. As long as there’s no verbal or physical abuse, conflict can be a healthy aspect of any relationship. Here’s how arguing has contributed to the strength of our marriage:
- Enhances Communication
Whether we’re shouting, bickering, or simply discussing heated topics, we’re still communicating. Every argument eventually leads to some form of constructive dialogue—even if it takes a few days to get there. By communicating, we’re building a stronger connection. - Adds Excitement
My husband and I are polar opposites, which means our arguments often arise when our comfort zones are challenged. Resolving these disagreements forces us to step outside our norms, and more often than not, this leads to new experiences and a revitalized relationship. - Promotes Household Balance
It wouldn’t be fair if one of us always got our way. If that were the case, our home would resemble a hunting lodge! Sometimes my approach to parenting works best, while at other times, Lucas’s methods shine. We need to test various principles to find balance in our household. - Provides Personal Space
Living with a family 24/7 can lead to conflict, but it also creates opportunities for solitude. Arguments can sometimes pave the way for everyone to take a breather and recharge. - Encourages Compromise
No matter the size of the disagreement, resolving it requires us to sit down and find common ground. If we can’t agree, we learn to agree to disagree, allowing us to move forward. - Unites Us
Different perspectives foster mutual respect. Arguments remind us not to take each other for granted and help us appreciate the hard work each person contributes to our partnership. - Fosters Diversity
Embracing our differences is crucial. Often, Lucas and I view situations entirely differently, and these contrasting viewpoints enrich both our relationship and our individuality. - Teaches Our Kids Assertiveness
When our children see us argue, they learn the importance of speaking up for themselves. If they want something, they need to advocate for it—after all, who else will in ten years? - Preserves Individuality
Standing your ground is essential. If you don’t assert yourself, you may find yourself unhappy with the smallest details—like the direction of the toilet paper! Arguments serve as reminders that our individual needs matter too. - Avoids Doormat Syndrome
Doormat Syndrome occurs when one partner suppresses their opinions for fear of conflict. This can lead to resentment, which only builds until it explodes over trivial issues. Openly sharing your thoughts fosters a more communicative environment for future disagreements.
As Lucas and I continue to settle deeper into our marriage, our arguments have become less frequent. Many of the issues we faced early on have been resolved, and we’re simply too tired for petty squabbles. However, it’s still important for our kids to witness how we navigate our differences and find effective solutions together.
And just so you know, I really am more tired than he is!
If you found this article helpful, you might enjoy our other blog post on navigating disagreements in relationships here. For those interested in at-home fertility options, check out this fertility booster from a reputable online retailer. Additionally, this resource offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Arguing in a marriage can be beneficial, enhancing communication, providing personal space, and teaching children the importance of self-advocacy. By navigating disagreements, couples can foster respect and appreciation for each other, ultimately strengthening their bond.
Leave a Reply