I never imagined that my little ones would vehemently oppose car rides. When I was expecting my first child, we excitedly purchased a charming new infant car seat. We meticulously installed it, even seeking help from a car seat specialist—because let’s be honest, the instructions were perplexing. The seat appeared cozy and secure.
I envisioned placing our tiny bundle inside, expecting him to drift off to sleep while the car gently swayed. That’s the portrayal you see in films, right? Even the baby model on the car seat box looked blissfully happy.
But that fantasy quickly shattered. The moment we placed him in, he erupted into a fit of tears—screams so intense they turned his face crimson. It was truly startling.
To ease the situation, I decided to sit in the backseat with him. While this provided some comfort, it wasn’t a complete fix. I tried offering a pacifier, but he promptly rejected it. Letting him suck on my finger worked momentarily, but soon enough, he spat that out too, looking at me with a desperate expression. It was clear—he wanted to be held, and if he was going to suck on anything, it was going to be my breast, of course.
Nursing him while he was strapped in wasn’t an option (though I later figured out how to manage that). And picking him up while driving was out of the question. While sitting next to him helped, it wasn’t always feasible, especially when I had to be the driver.
Having a baby who despises car rides complicates parenting immensely—it can be an absolute nightmare. Timing outings becomes crucial; I learned to schedule trips when my baby was least likely to be upset. Evenings were particularly challenging; mornings were manageable, but still stressful. You might find yourself needing two adults in the car—one to drive and the other to console the baby—or making frequent stops to soothe the little one, sometimes every five minutes.
Longer journeys felt impossible without significant adjustments. For instance, during a four-hour drive with my second child, we split the trip over two days, stopping at a hotel along the way. It might sound extreme, but two hours of relentless wailing was all I could endure in a day.
You may also find that friends and family struggle to understand your situation. My in-laws had a similar experience decades ago, but their solution was to simply remove the baby from the car seat and hold them (which, let’s be honest, isn’t a safe option). Others might insist, “He’ll fall asleep eventually.” But that wasn’t the case for my first child—never did he succumb to slumber in the car. I never knew that babies could resist sleep in the car, but mine certainly did.
Some people worried that there was something wrong with my babies or with my parenting. Yes, they were intense and had plenty of needs, but I’ve come to realize that many babies share this aversion to car rides. While not all are as extreme as mine, it’s a common experience for many parents that can add stress to an already challenging time.
It’s surprising how little this topic is discussed. The distress of having a car seat screamer can feel isolating. I often think back to those months, remembering the utter helplessness during long stretches on the highway when there was no place to pull over.
I became somewhat of a hermit during that phase. Luckily, the grocery store was within walking distance, and at one point, I even opted for online grocery shopping to avoid car rides altogether. You do what you have to do, right?
The silver lining is that things eventually improved. Once my babies discovered toys and snacks, they became more entertained, and the piercing screams subsided. Before long, they were perfectly fine in the car—except for the endless chorus of “Are we there yet?” that would drive any parent crazy.
So, if you’re one of those parents navigating life with a baby who absolutely hates car rides, know that you’re not alone. Your child isn’t “weird,” and neither are you—it’s just a sign of a strong-willed little one who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to express it, often in the loudest way possible. Hang in there; you’ll make it through this phase before you know it.
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Summary:
Dealing with a baby who hates car rides can be a harrowing experience for many parents. It often leads to complicated planning and a lot of stress. However, it’s a common struggle that many parents face. The good news is that this phase usually passes, and with some patience and creativity, car rides can become manageable.
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