There was an incident at the neighborhood pool recently that perfectly encapsulates the current climate around parenting. A young boy was running about, and the pool attendant reminded him to walk, as is standard protocol in any pool setting. However, the boy’s father—a rather imposing figure—stormed over and declared that only he had the authority to tell his child what to do. He insisted that any concerns should be relayed to him directly, essentially saying, “Don’t address my kid; I’ll handle it.”
The attendant, maintaining his professionalism, calmly explained that it was his responsibility to enforce the pool rules, which universally include “no running.” But the father pushed back, displaying a confrontational attitude, insisting that his child could run freely because he said so. This scenario raises a critical question: Are we, as a society, cultivating a generation of kids who believe they are above the rules?
There’s a growing trepidation among rational adults regarding the boundaries of their involvement in the upbringing of others’ children. A friend of mine shared a story about a family gathering where one adult gently reminded a child to share. The adult suddenly felt the need to apologize for overstepping their bounds, a notion that my friend found perplexing. She encouraged her friends to feel free to guide her children whenever necessary. After all, a child should learn to hear feedback from various sources, not just their parents.
If parents operate under the belief that only they should guide their children, they are doing them a disservice. This mindset creates unrealistic expectations, leaving kids ill-prepared for the real world. If we follow the logic of the big-chested dad, then lifeguards can’t enforce safety, teachers can’t instruct, and eventually, managers can’t manage. How does that prepare our kids for adulthood?
As parents, we must ask ourselves if we are too focused on shielding our children from disappointment and failure. We all know that hyper-involved parent who is constantly at school, pushing for their child to achieve accolades and recognition. This behavior only sets the stage for future humiliation when those kids inevitably face real-world challenges without their parents to intervene.
For example, my teenager recently faced the consequences of not submitting an assignment on time, despite numerous reminders. The other child’s mother came knocking, wanting to discuss the “injustice” of it all. After listening to her for nearly an hour, I suggested she reach out to a school administrator if she wanted to contest the teacher’s decision. I haven’t heard back.
Here’s the reality: My child will stumble and fail, and I see it as my duty to allow him to navigate those failures while he’s still under my roof. It’s a crucial skill to learn how to cope with setbacks, something that will serve him well in college and beyond. After all, who remembers the person in the dorms who couldn’t handle a minor setback?
So here’s an open invitation to anyone who knows my kids: feel free to speak up. If they’re misbehaving, remind them of your house rules. Whether it’s to stop running, not to play with dangerous items, or to refrain from devouring all your snacks, I encourage you to step in. It’s beneficial for them to understand boundaries and respect for others’ spaces. Plus, let’s be honest, I could use the help.
In summary, it is perfectly acceptable to guide children who aren’t your own. It helps them learn essential social skills and prepares them for the expectations of the world. So, don’t hesitate to share your wisdom; it might just make a lasting impact.
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