Recently, my sister’s partner gifted me a quirky sign that read, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy children.” Naturally, I couldn’t resist making a quip about how my floors are anything but sticky and my oven is spotless. He struggled to recover from the unintended implication, stumbling over his words. “No, no! Your home is really clean; I just thought the sign was… neat.” Nice try, buddy.
You’ve probably seen similar quotes plastered across every corner of Pinterest. “Excuse the mess; my kids are making memories.” These phrases adorn everything from pillows to coffee mugs, all meant to excuse clutter in your home. If you have the time to hang one up, that is.
While I know my sister’s partner meant well, the sentiment behind the sign got me thinking. As a mom of two energetic girls who often leave a trail of toys in their wake, I maintain a pretty tidy home. The toys are picked up, the bathrooms are scrubbed, and I wouldn’t bat an eye if a friend dropped by unannounced. My floors? Not sticky at all.
Let me clarify: I’m not asking for a superhero cape. However, I firmly believe that the notion suggesting good mothers have messy homes is misguided. Mothers juggle a lot more than just entertaining their children. Yes, I adore playing blocks, hosting tea parties, and diving into storytime. But my life isn’t dictated by my 3-year-old’s whims; she exists in my world, which includes chores.
The Crux of the Matter
Here’s the crux of the matter: the message behind that sign implies that a “good mom” prioritizes play over responsibilities. She overlooks laundry because there are games to enjoy, ignoring dirty floors for another round of hide-and-seek. The idea suggests that these mothers are fulfilling their duties by ensuring their children’s happiness. But if a clean home equates to being a bad mom, we’ve got it all wrong.
If our kids’ happiness serves as the gauge for good parenting, then we have a serious issue. The moments I feel I’m doing something right in this chaotic parenting journey often coincide with my toddler’s dissent. I don’t scrub my floors or tidy the kitchen because I’m a dull mom; I do it to teach my daughters the value of hard work. They need to see that maintaining a home requires effort, not just wishful thinking.
Like any job, the upkeep of a household demands discipline, intention, and yes, even some fun! We turn chores into games, cranking up the music or timing ourselves for toy cleanup contests. I want my girls to dream big, whether their aspirations are to be mothers, teachers, CEOs, or, fingers crossed, even masseuses. But I need to model what hard work looks like for them.
Understanding Independence
More importantly, I want them to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them—or their mother. While they are my inspiration to rise daily, they are not my sole reason for living. I want them to cherish their childhood memories filled with laughter and adventure, but I also want them to learn independence. They need to explore, create, and play without my constant oversight.
What Truly Matters
In the end, does it truly matter if my home is spotless? Does it matter if yours isn’t? Not at all. A clean house can coexist with being a good mom just as easily as a messy one can coincide with motherhood failure. What truly matters is what we teach our children through our actions.
If we neglect our responsibilities to keep our kids entertained, what lessons are we imparting? Conversely, if we focus solely on keeping a pristine home, what are we showing them? What matters are the underlying life lessons we impart through our daily routines, whether we’re cleaning those sticky floors or tackling the oven grime, even if it leads to a moment of dissatisfaction for our little ones. If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and family life, check out this insightful blog post here.
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In summary, good motherhood is not defined by the cleanliness of your floors but by the values and lessons we instill in our children as we navigate the beautiful chaos of family life.
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