Our family may not have the budget for extravagant vacations, but this past spring break, we decided to embrace a “staycation.” I wanted it to be something special.
I presented the idea to my kids: a day at the local amusement park, a trip to the city, and each could choose a nearby park to explore. I suggested fun activities like picnics, sidewalk chalk, mural painting, and even some science experiments.
“What do you want to do?” I asked, trying to convey my enthusiasm. I genuinely aimed to make our staycation enjoyable.
“Um…” my 9-year-old replied, “I want to spend an afternoon playing Monopoly with you because you always say you’ll play, but you never do. And I’d like to dedicate another day to finishing that play script Dad and I started last year.”
Wow, that caught me off guard. As a parent juggling more than one child, there’s always this underlying worry that I’m not providing enough one-on-one time. But hearing my son express his needs so directly was a wake-up call.
Reflecting back, I recalled when he was just 5 years old and I was pregnant with his younger brother. I wanted him to have a sibling, yet I was terrified of how it would alter our special bond. The hours spent playing games, reading, and creating art felt like they would vanish overnight with the arrival of a new baby.
In many ways, I was right, and that guilt still lingers. My older son and I still share moments together, engaging in crafts and baking, but often with his little brother in tow, creating chaos by spilling flour or ruining artwork.
Sometimes, I feel as if my second child is missing out compared to the first. Yes, I stay home with him while his older brother is at school, but our routine is different now. We wake up early to drop his brother off, run more errands, and I often find myself more exhausted and less engaging.
I know I’m not alone in this sentiment; countless parents of multiple children experience the same guilt about not spending enough quality time with each kid.
I don’t regret having more than one child. Despite the frequent sibling squabbles, I know they’re forming a lasting bond, learning flexibility, and the importance of sharing. Yet, I still yearn to provide each child with more focused time, to engage deeply in activities and conversations without distractions.
It truly tugs at my heart when I think about it.
My son and I did manage to spend an afternoon playing Monopoly, while my husband entertained our younger child. In his cozy room, we dove into the game. I hadn’t played in a while, so he guided me on which properties to invest in and how to strategize. I was impressed by his quick calculations and tactics.
Nothing extraordinary happened during that game; it was a simple afternoon filled with laughter. Our toes touched as we played, and he playfully nudged me a few times. When his little brother began to cry, signaling dinner time, we paused our game.
Before we left, I closed my eyes, hoping to savor that moment. I was transported back to when it was just the two of us, and that feeling was so vivid.
As we put the game away, a pang of guilt hit me. “Sorry we didn’t finish,” I said. “It’s fine,” he replied, “I pretty much won anyway.” I told him I enjoyed our time together, and he gave me a shy but genuine “me too” before darting off to join his dad and brother.
Perhaps this is how spending time with my kids will be for now—imperfect and happening in short bursts. I believe him when he says he had fun, and I noticed he was in a great mood the rest of the evening.
I hope that my children will cherish these moments of connection, not focus on the times we didn’t finish or missed out entirely. I’m determined to create more afternoons like this with both of my kids. It doesn’t take grand plans; what matters is simply being together.
And I will remind myself to ease up on the guilt when I feel I’m not giving enough time. Even brief moments carry significant weight for my children—truly monumental in their eyes—and I know I can provide them with that.
Yet, I understand that an underlying sense of “not enough” will always linger. I suppose that’s just part of the parenting journey.
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Summary
Parenting multiple children often comes with the challenge of balancing quality time. This piece explores the feelings of guilt and the desire to connect with each child individually, highlighting that even small moments of togetherness can be meaningful. The author resolves to embrace the imperfect nature of family time while cherishing the bonds they create.
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