By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: June 17, 2023
Originally Published: June 17, 2023
I find myself on my bed, laptop perched on my lap, ready to dive into my Facebook feed at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I have until 10 a.m. to scroll through all the updates before racing off to my daughter’s piano class. Sure, it may not be the pinnacle of ambition, but as a 37-year-old full-time working mom, social media feels like my lifeline to the outside world. You might chuckle, but I see you scrolling too, so don’t pretend you’re not in the same boat.
My husband has disappeared for his morning “chat with the governor,” and my kids are upstairs, supposedly playing nicely. I’ve already tackled the morning routine: fed them, dressed them, and managed the usual chaos, all while craving a few moments of solitude.
But just as I settle in, my 3-year-old bursts into the room: “Mommy, can you do my hair like Elsa? Not just a plain braid. I want a side-braid with this purple hair tie!”
Me: sighs “Okay… just a minute…” (I braid her hair with a mix of frustration and love) “…now can I have a moment to myself?”
Then my husband barges in, looking horrified. “How could you tell her to go away? This is family time! You should be bonding, not zoning out on Facebook!”
While he’s been off enjoying his “me time,” I’ve been interrupted a staggering 458 times. That’s not hyperbole; I counted. I dealt with costume changes, hairstyle disputes, snack refusals, and countless reminders about where to find water (hint: it’s in her cup!). In just 20 minutes, my attempt at a little downtime turned into chaos, and I managed to scroll through only one measly feed of updates.
If you’re the primary caregiver in your home, you know this scenario all too well. The moments of respite we dream about often feel like a fantasy. We never intended to become the family’s doormat, but here we are, catering to everyone else’s needs while our own desires slip to the bottom of the priority list.
But what if we stopped for a moment and acknowledged our own needs? What if we declared, “Enough is enough! I deserve 20 minutes to myself to indulge in whatever I like, even if that means watching cat videos on YouTube!” What if we ceased running around like headless chickens, juggling all the obligations that society imposes on us to become better versions of ourselves?
In our quest for equality in parenting and the workplace, many of us have lost touch with our true selves. Unlike my own mother, who had no qualms about sending me out to play so she could finish a novel, I struggle to take just a few minutes to check my notifications. Even worse, I’ve let my family forget that I have interests and passions beyond motherhood.
As I sit there, laptop closed, I feel a mix of shame and frustration. Instead of lashing out, I remind myself that this is part of the journey. It’s about finding balance and reclaiming those precious moments for myself, without guilt. My mother’s generation may have burned their bras, but my generation seems to be burning out. Perhaps they had the right idea all along.
If you find yourself struggling with similar feelings, remember that you are not alone. It’s essential to carve out moments for yourself amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood.
For those navigating the intricacies of parenting, you might find valuable insights in this other blog post that discusses similar experiences. Also, if you’re considering family planning options, check out this reputable retailer for at-home insemination kits. And for a deeper understanding of various methods, this resource on in vitro fertilization can be quite helpful.
Summary:
In a world where mothers often feel overwhelmed by the demands of parenting and life, it’s crucial to acknowledge the need for personal time and self-care. This article reflects on the everyday challenges of motherhood and emphasizes the importance of reclaiming time for oneself, suggesting that mothers should prioritize their own needs without guilt.
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