As my daughter recently celebrated her third birthday, an avalanche of pink and princess-themed gifts flooded in, and her delight was undeniable. She adores all things princess, from dress-up to tiaras, reveling in a world that many consider traditionally girly.
I shared a photo of her twirling in a fluffy tulle dress, accompanied by a playful caption about her ongoing obsession with “Let It Go.” That’s when the comments took a strange turn.
A friend reached out, trying to comfort me by suggesting that this princess phase was merely temporary—as if her infatuation with princesses needed to be excused. I was taken aback. What if this phase lasted longer than expected? Why should I feel pressured to dismiss her interests?
The truth is, I am aware of the problematic aspects of princess culture. It often strips women of agency, objectifies them, and perpetuates harmful stereotypes. There’s certainly a lot to critique about how marketing bombards young girls with these ideals. I can agree with that.
However, my daughter’s fascination with princesses doesn’t stem from any external coercion. I’ve consciously shielded her from pervasive princess marketing, yet she remains enchanted by it. She also enjoys riding bikes, playing in the mud, and getting creative with arts and crafts that involve an abundance of glue. Importantly, she doesn’t feel pressured to like pink or princesses because she’s a girl.
Her love for tiaras and tulle is a reflection of who she is—a unique individual. I firmly believe she can enjoy princesses without being manipulated by a patriarchal narrative. Perhaps this is just a fleeting phase, or maybe it will blossom into a lifelong passion for all things princess-related. Who knows? Even if her dreams include a Disney-themed wedding or cosplay events, that’s her choice, not mine. My role as her mother is to support her journey, even when it’s different from my own.
In raising daughters, it’s crucial to allow them the freedom to pursue their interests, even if those interests align with traditional gender roles. Feminism should empower all girls, not just those who challenge societal norms. Do I have my own hopes for her? Of course. But her happiness and fulfillment are what truly matter. Whether she aspires to be an engineer or a professional princess, I want her to embrace her true self.
So, I’m choosing to embrace her love for princesses. If that means she spends her days wearing a tiara and singing “Let It Go,” then so be it. Her interests are authentic and self-chosen; she possesses as much agency as a three-year-old can have. She knows who she is and proudly expresses it. When others refer to her as a princess while she’s dressed in her favorite getup, she sets the record straight with seriousness.
“I’m not a princess. I’m Avery,” she asserts.
She is Avery, and that’s exactly who I want her to be.
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In summary, I’ve decided to support my daughter’s passions, even if they include the glittery world of princesses. Her identity is multifaceted, and it’s essential for her to feel free to explore every aspect of herself.
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