As I near my 30th birthday (it’s looming), I’ve noticed an uptick in baby-related questions—from my mom, family, friends, and even the occasional stranger. While my husband and I do plan to have children in the future, we’re currently in a phase of life that doesn’t align with starting a family just yet. We’ve recently purchased a home, and we’re still figuring things out.
After four years of marriage, it seems like there’s a universal expectation to have children soon after tying the knot. Sure, some couples jump right into parenting, and that’s perfectly fine. But my husband and I have moved four times in those four years, and I can’t even fathom how chaotic it would have been to juggle a child during that time.
Everyone has their unique life choices, and those should be respected. There are countless reasons why someone might not have kids—whether it’s a conscious decision, fertility struggles, or simply not being ready. However, I often find myself on the receiving end of these comments:
- “When I was your age, I already had 2/3/6 kids!”
That’s great for you! I’ve explored Europe and traveled extensively across the U.S. Traveling with kids is doable, but I imagine it’s easier without them in tow. - “You look like a natural with that baby. Maybe it’s time for one of your own!”
I managed not to drop it! Clearly, I’m ready for motherhood now, right? - “Let me share this nightmare story about my childbirth experience…”
Please, do tell. I want kids in the future, but hearing those tales might lessen my enthusiasm. For now, my most challenging story is how my dog once scratched me. - “You’re not getting any younger.”
Really? Thanks for the reminder. But neither are you, my friend. - “Your kids will be SO adorable.”
What if they’re not? Can we return them? Oh, I see, it’s because my future child will be half-Asian and half-white. Got it. - “Are you next?”
I don’t control the reproductive timelines of others, so I have no clue. Why does this even matter to you? - “Having a dog isn’t the same as having a child.”
Thank goodness! A dog can be left alone for a few hours, but I doubt the authorities approve of that for kids. - “You’ve had a puppy; you can handle a baby!”
Seriously, folks, make up your minds! You can’t claim it’s the same and then say it’s different. - “Can’t you hear your biological clock ticking?”
Nope! But I do listen to a lot of music, which might drown it out. Or maybe it’s just broken—who knows? - “So… when are you planning to have a baby?”
Not in the next nine months, that’s for sure. But don’t worry; when we do, you’ll find out. Just maybe not before we do.
It’s time to put a stop to these kinds of comments directed at those who can become parents, even if you are one yourself. It’s rarely the topic anyone wants to discuss, and it often creates awkward moments.
(Our parents are exempt from this rule, of course, because let’s face it—they’ll ask whatever they want, and we’ve learned to accept that. Hi, Mom!)
For those interested in learning more about fertility and family planning, check out this informative resource from the CDC. Additionally, if you’re exploring options for at-home insemination, reputable sites like Make a Mom offer helpful fertility supplements and kits. Also, you might find interest in our other blog post discussing related topics.
Summary
Approaching 30 without children often invites unsolicited comments about parenthood. This article humorously addresses the common phrases heard by those who are not yet parents, emphasizing the importance of respecting individual choices while navigating societal expectations.
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