When a parent mentions, “My child has autism,” it often leaves others unsure of how to react. While most people understand that an enthusiastic “Woohoo!” or a high-five is inappropriate, they tend to stumble over their words, shy away from eye contact, and make socially awkward comments before making a hasty exit from what feels like an uncomfortable situation.
We get it; finding the right words can be challenging and it’s perfectly normal to feel lost during these conversations. However, it’s crucial to be mindful of what you say, as it can significantly impact the parent and their child. Here are twelve phrases that are best left unsaid:
- “But he looks so… normal?!”
Thanks, but I’m not sure what “normal” means. To me, my child is stunning just the way he is. - “Are you sure he’s autistic?”
Yes, I’m positive. We’ve consulted numerous specialists to confirm his diagnosis, so your doubts aren’t necessary. - “What do you think caused it?”
We ponder this often and have gone through many emotions. Ultimately, figuring out the cause is less important than focusing on how to support him effectively. - “Ohhhh… what can he do?”
I mentioned autism, not that he’s a performer. While some children with autism do have unique strengths, not all do, and asking this can reinforce feelings of difference. - “Maybe if you just provided him with some discipline.”
If you say this, prepare for a swift dodge. Autism is not the result of poor parenting or discipline. What might appear to be a tantrum can often be a sensory meltdown due to overwhelming discomfort. - “I try to talk to him, but he always ignores me. Maybe you should get his hearing checked.”
We’ve done that. He hears and sees you, but communicating in a way you understand might be challenging for him. - “Maybe he just likes to be alone.”
While solitude may be easier for him, it doesn’t mean he genuinely prefers it. Assuming he enjoys being alone can be painful for both him and his family. - “He’s not that bad.”
I never called him bad or broken. Autism is simply a different way of experiencing the world, not something that needs to be fixed. - “He’ll eat when he’s hungry.”
No, he probably won’t! Would you test that hypothesis on your own child? His eating habits are dictated by sensory preferences, not by hunger alone. - “You are so [insert amazing, brave, strong, loving, etc. here].”
I appreciate the sentiment, but honestly, it’s my child who inspires with his resilience. - “I’m sorry.”
There’s no need to apologize. Most days, I’m okay with our situation. - “Will he always be like that?”
Yes, he will always have autism. Yes, it will affect his life. However, he will also continue to grow, love, and teach me about his unique view of the world. So, there’s no need for your sorrow.
Discussing autism can be difficult, both for parents and others. However, educating yourself about autism is a valuable step you can take to foster understanding and support. For more insights, check out our detailed post here: Cervical Insemination Blog. If you’re interested in home insemination options, consider checking out reputable retailers like Make A Mom for quality products. Additionally, Science Daily provides excellent resources on fertility and pregnancy.
In summary, being aware of the language we use when discussing autism is essential. It can help create a more supportive and understanding environment for everyone involved.
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