Earlier this school year, a tragic incident occurred at Stanford University involving Brock Allen Turner, who assaulted an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. Around the same time, my 11-year-old daughter received her first cell phone. A few months later, I overheard a young boy yell into the phone, “I just want you to know that I think you’re a total jerk!”
Brock’s victim awoke in a hospital, confused and disoriented, with no knowledge of what had transpired. The aftermath left her feeling isolated; she didn’t confide in her boyfriend or parents for weeks. My daughter, however, dismissed her phone call as trivial, claiming that boys at her school often speak to girls in such derogatory ways. She assured me it didn’t bother her, even though she barely knew this boy.
In an unsettling twist, Brock’s father wrote about his son’s situation, implying that 20 minutes of “action” shouldn’t warrant harsh punishment. When I reached out to the parents of the boy who called my daughter those names, the father suggested we let the kids sort it out, insisting that the boy didn’t mean any harm because he felt bad about it. The mother promised to get back to us but never did.
During the Brock Turner trial, the victim was subjected to invasive questioning about her sexual history, clothing, and substance use. Meanwhile, some people questioned if my daughter had provoked the boy. Our friends, who also have children, speculated that maybe the boy acted out because he had a crush on her. Ultimately, Brock received only six months in county jail, far less than the 14 years he could have faced, due to the judge’s concerns about the impact of incarceration on his future.
When I reported the incident at my daughter’s school, I was met with an unsettling response from the counselor, who downplayed the boy’s behavior as mere mimicry of what they see in media. It was suggested that calling him out would only embarrass him, and since it didn’t happen on school grounds, it was not a school matter.
Let’s be clear: this is where rape culture takes root. It begins at a young age, often unnoticed until it culminates in serious, life-altering consequences. We must take a stand. It is imperative that we educate our sons about respecting girls and teach young men to listen to and protect women. Moreover, consequences must fit the severity of the crime.
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In summary, the normalization of disrespectful behavior towards women begins early and must be addressed promptly. It’s time for parents to step up and foster a culture of respect and understanding among our children.
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