As a parent, it can be disheartening to discover that a teacher doesn’t seem to connect with your child. I recall my own experience in the 10th grade with a teacher I’ll refer to as Mr. Johnson. He was openly biased, convinced that girls weren’t capable of grasping complex chemistry concepts. His disdain for my capabilities was palpable. I remember struggling in that class—not only with the challenging content but also with the knowledge that my teacher believed I wasn’t good enough. His mockery and harsh grading left a lasting impression, and to this day, the Periodic Table still gives me a chill.
Fast forward three decades, and I find myself as the proud mother of two bright, well-adjusted children. Our local school district is renowned for its dedicated educators and supportive administration, attracting families eager for a solid educational foundation. My kids have enjoyed remarkable educational experiences, often with teachers who have become part of our extended family. However, there’s one school year that stood out for all the wrong reasons—the year my son had a teacher who clearly didn’t like him.
My son is an observant, intelligent child, and for most of his academic journey, he’s thrived with minimal difficulty. Math comes easily to him, and he consistently reads above his grade level. By all accounts, he’s a diligent student, even if his grades don’t always reflect his understanding. However, a few years ago, something shifted. Hormones, increased academic demands, or a combination of both led him to struggle during the initial weeks of the school year. Lost homework and declining test scores became a regular occurrence. After numerous conversations about working harder, he finally admitted that he was having trouble grasping the material in one particular subject.
While I believe in allowing my children to navigate their own challenges, I also feel it’s important to advocate for them when they’re facing academic hurdles. So, I scheduled a meeting with his teacher. What I heard during that meeting left me astounded. She expressed her doubts about my son’s intelligence, claiming she expected better grades from him considering his IQ, and bluntly stated that she didn’t like him at all. I was taken aback—she even looked me straight in the eye and made that declaration.
Many might expect me to leap to my son’s defense, but I opted for silence. My emotions ran high, and I was on the verge of tears, but I managed to keep my composure. I realized my son had encountered his own version of Mr. Johnson. This teacher had likely developed her outlook over years of teaching, and it was clear she wouldn’t change her mind. It was my responsibility to equip my son with the skills to navigate this difficult relationship.
After our meeting, I had an open discussion with him. I carefully explained what the teacher had said and how she felt about him. He acknowledged that he sensed he wasn’t her favorite student, but he accepted it. In a moment of maturity, he declared he would work diligently—not to prove her wrong, but to prove to himself that he could master the material. When he chuckled and said, “Just wait until I get an A; it’ll really bug her,” I knew he’d be alright.
Throughout the rest of the year, he committed himself to his studies, sought help when needed, and diligently tackled the subject matter. I felt immense pride when he brought home an A on his final report card. I asked if the teacher had acknowledged his hard work, and he recounted how she made a snide remark about him never advancing in the subject, regardless of his efforts. He simply replied, “Maybe not advanced, but definitely improved. Improvement is just as important.” That moment was a revelation for me.
Teachers are human, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to connect with every student in their classroom. I’ve observed that most educators strive to maintain professionalism and separate their personal feelings from their teaching. While it was challenging for me to watch my child feel undervalued, I’m grateful I trusted him to rise to the occasion. He often reflects on how empowered he felt that year, realizing his potential when he truly dedicated himself to a task. Children can and will surprise us if we give them the chance.
As for my own educational struggles, I still can’t conduct a chemistry experiment, and the only chemical symbol I remember is for gold—but that’s alright. And Mr. Johnson? I managed to earn an A in college chemistry, and it felt incredibly rewarding.
In Summary
When faced with a teacher who seems to dislike your child, it’s essential to foster open communication with your child, empower them to face challenges, and advocate for their needs. Remember, teachers are human too, and with the right support, your child can overcome adversities and thrive academically.
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