When you become a parent, you soon discover that there’s a certain truth behind the routines we create. If you don’t have kids, this may sound odd, but once you do, these daily patterns evolve into rituals that feel almost sacred. For those without children, the urgency of a bedtime routine might be puzzling, especially in social gatherings.
My partner, Mia, and I often find ourselves at gatherings when one of us checks the time and realizes bedtime is looming. We exchange a knowing glance, akin to a secret signal, and suddenly we’re in full-on evacuation mode, gathering our little ones and making a hasty exit to ensure the kids reach their sanctuary—their bedroom—before any potential meltdowns occur.
Finding a routine that works in the chaos of parenting—whether it’s getting the kids dressed, teaching manners, or simply preventing them from becoming hangry—is a blessing. It’s easy to imagine oneself in a robe, paying homage to a fictional deity dedicated to the well-being of children when you stumble upon success in these daily battles.
Bedtime: The Beginning of New Challenges
Nowhere is this more evident than during bedtime. Mia and I take turns putting our toddler to sleep, and on my designated nights, I often dread this part of the day. It’s the moment when I expect the day’s parenting duties to conclude, yet it frequently marks the beginning of new challenges.
Picture this: your child, despite missing their nap and having spent the evening running around, is still wide awake. You might indulge them with an extra story or a short video clip, only for them to respond with something completely random, like “banana” followed by giggles.
Then comes the inevitable slip-up. Maybe it’s tucking them in incorrectly, or their stuffed animals aren’t in the right order, or perhaps you tell a spontaneous tale that doesn’t include their newfound favorite animal—a capybara. And when you mention the capybara but forget to put it in a rocket ship, you’re met with immediate dissent. At this point, continuing the conversation is futile, as they’re clearly in a state I like to call “toddler drunk.”
Once you reach this stage, you might as well settle in for a long night of “cuddling” (which really means losing feeling in your legs as they squirm around). Their questions will come at you like an interrogation, only to escalate in volume and whininess as they demand you rectify your perceived errors. And soon enough, you realize you’re utterly lost, wishing you could just throw your hands up and say, “I’m sorry. What is it you want me to do?”
Yet, the truth is, toddlers are just as confused at this point. They’re unhappy but don’t quite know why. The good cop is long gone, and the bad cop has taken the reins, making it a Herculean task to calm them down.
The Power of a Consistent Bedtime Ritual
A clear and consistent bedtime ritual can be a game changer. At our house, bedtime is non-negotiable, and our routine is steadfast: dinner, playtime, pajamas, a show, a book, teeth brushing, and then off to bed. However, this is often where the real adventure begins.
Our son loves to chat a bit before drifting off, and navigating these conversations can be tricky. While it’s one of the most challenging aspects of parenting, I genuinely treasure these moments of connection because you never know where a toddler’s imagination will take you.
I let him lead the dialogue, and it often turns into a free-association game. He might reminisce about playing tag at daycare one moment and then suggest it would be hilarious if “Darth Bader” were riding a donkey eating pizza the next.
Occasionally, a topic sticks for several nights. For a time, he was fascinated by barnyard animals, especially sheepdogs and their role in protecting sheep. Then, unexpectedly, he began asking about the war in Syria. He picked this up from a news report he overheard, and I explained it in simple terms: people had to leave their homes because it wasn’t safe. Now, he frequently revisits this subject, even offering to help fix damaged houses with his toy hammer—a surprisingly earnest gesture from a toddler.
The Duality of Parenting
As much as I dread those nights of putting my son to bed, I also look forward to them. This duality captures the essence of parenting; it’s a challenging journey filled with fears—concerns about health, safety, and the occasional flying utensil at a restaurant. Yet, within this demanding role, children have an uncanny ability to turn mundane tasks into cherished memories, filled with laughter and love that guide them as they navigate life.
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In summary, bedtime routines can be both delightful and daunting, but they are integral to the parenting experience, filled with unexpected joys and challenges.
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