It’s me again! Can you believe it’s been eight months since we became neighbors? I’m a bit disappointed that we haven’t had a chance to connect on a more personal level. Every time I drop by, you seem to be out, so I thought I’d reach out in this slightly chaotic letter. I really want to explain some of the unusual happenings lately (and ask if you’d like to join me for a drink or some cake—I always have cake on hand!).
I was quite upset to learn that you didn’t get to enjoy the blueberry muffins I left for you. Now I understand why you gave me that puzzled look when I called out from my car, wishing you a sweet treat. After some detective work with my kids, it turns out they couldn’t resist the muffins and took them when you weren’t home. They even put the container on your porch but couldn’t resist the temptation. I thought it was odd that they skipped lunch, but when kids choose to play outside all day, who am I to intervene? I apologize for your experience of just one muffin with a bite missing. I’ll personally bring over another batch this weekend.
It seems the only times we bump into each other are during chaotic events! Just last week, my dog decided to dig under the fence. I heard your cat making a noise that I never knew cats could make! I rushed over, and I promise I got my dog off your cat right away. I was just as surprised as you probably were!
And speaking of my dog, he’s the reason you saw me in quite an undignified state recently. He got into the trash and ended up with a terrible stomach issue. After a sleepless night of taking him out, I was startled when he clawed at the bathroom door while I was showering. In my rush to get him outside, my towel slipped, and as you can imagine, it was quite the scene when he decided to relieve himself right then. I’m sure it looked like some kind of weird dance when you saw me outside yelling, “Oh no, please stop!” Thank you for ushering your kids back inside so quickly!
I also want to apologize for scaring your son. My hiding spot in the half-finished house next door has become my sanctuary, especially after my kids discovered my secret stash of “good chocolate.” I didn’t realize you were bringing potential buyers by that evening. I was so engrossed in my magazine that when your son and his friend came in, I panicked and accidentally shouted, “I have a gun!” Of course, I didn’t have one, and I truly regret frightening him. I hope your friends still consider moving to our lovely neighborhood!
My husband mentioned that my previous letter may have given the wrong impression regarding the alcohol situation in our home. I completely understand if you don’t drink (though I personally find it hard to imagine!). Just know I can whip up some delightful mocktails or simply offer lemonade or water.
I genuinely want to get to know you better and hope you see that we’re really just a normal family looking to make friends for BBQs and Pictionary nights. I promise to keep my dog in his kennel, and my boys are finally learning that their voices can be heard by our neighbors. Just the other morning, my son was yelling that he was “dying in there” because he forgot his iPad while I was showering—kids can be so dramatic!
I hope to hear back from you soon. Feel free to drop by anytime, and if I’m not around, you might find me at the house next door!
Best,
Your Neighbor
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Summary:
In this lighthearted letter, a neighbor reflects on the funny and chaotic events that have transpired over the past eight months. From muffin mishaps to dog disasters, the neighbor expresses a genuine desire to connect and build a friendship, while apologizing for any misunderstandings.
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