If there’s one indulgence that tugs at my heartstrings, it’s raw cookie dough. It’s the sweet, creamy goodness that makes me feel like a kid again. Sure, the news likes to warn us about the risks of raw eggs and potential salmonella, but let’s be real—there are far scarier things lurking in our daily lives.
I’m over the constant warnings about danger! The world has already stripped away so many carefree childhood experiences—like riding in the back of a car without a seatbelt or playing outside until the streetlights flicker on. But raw cookie dough? You can’t have that!
At this rate, we’ll be living in a world where our children are wrapped in plastic bubbles, bouncing around like hamsters in their cages. Let’s take a moment to recognize that there are truly more hazardous things than sneaking a taste of that delicious cookie dough. Here’s a rundown:
- Sprinting down the stairs in socks—think of them as mini surfboards leading you straight to the emergency room.
- Safety scissors—yes, they’re labeled “safe,” but those blades still cut.
- Opening a tube of refrigerated dough. The suspense alone could give you a heart attack!
- Clowns. Have you read Stephen King’s It?
- The political candidates of 2024. If you’re unaware, you might need to emerge from your cozy hideout.
- Taking a bath—just try not to slip on that slick edge.
- Getting out of the tub—because who doesn’t love a faceplant into the bathroom floor?
- Stepping on plastic farm animals—trust me, it’s not as fun as it sounds.
- Roasting marshmallows—hot, gooey marshmallows on sharp sticks? What could possibly go wrong?
- Roller skating—wheeled shoes that can send you flying!
- Drinking hot cocoa without letting it cool—your tongue could be scarred for life.
- Touching your pet’s food without washing your hands.
- Petting your furry friend—do you really know where they’ve been?
- Jumping on the bed—until Mom or Dad decides to join in!
- Running around the playground with a lollipop in hand—let’s hope that soft ground really is soft.
- Riding a bike while wearing sandals—because asphalt is the road’s sandpaper.
- Bunk beds—one elevated bed plus toddlers equals a recipe for disaster.
- Giant trampolines—your knees might just become your worst enemy.
- Walking around with blankets draped over their heads—because that’s a smart idea!
- Drinking from a kiddie pool filled with hose water on a hot summer day.
In a world where cookie dough is vilified, let’s consider how many folks enjoy it without any issues. I’d wager that opening a tube of Pillsbury dough causes more injuries than raw cookie dough ever could. So, cookie dough, ignore the “experts” and continue to be a beloved treat in our house. In two decades, my kids will be the ones licking the batter and rolling around in hamster balls like the fearless adventurers they are.
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So, let’s enjoy that raw cookie dough while we can—it’s one of life’s sweeter pleasures!
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