I Can Still See My Little Ones

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As I sat in church, I couldn’t help but notice a family in front of me. A mother, father, and their adult daughter formed a beautiful picture of connection. The mother wrapped her arm around her daughter, who nestled her head on her shoulder. In that moment, I glanced down at my 5-year-old son resting in my lap, and a profound realization washed over me: no matter how much they grow, our children will forever be our little ones. When viewed through the lens of parenthood, we can still see the infants they once were.

Take my 11-year-old son, for instance. His face has transformed dramatically; his adult teeth have come in, his hair is thicker and darker, and he stands nearly at my chin. Yet, when I truly look at him, I remember that tiny scar on his cheek I studied while nursing him, perplexed about its origin. I can still envision his gap-toothed smile at age six, proudly displaying a Lego masterpiece. In his long, slender fingers, I can trace back to the pudgy hands that once scooted toy cars across the floor. He remains my baby because I can always see that child in him.

My daughters, with their flowing hair, remind me of their messy curls damp with sweat after waking from a nap. I can still hear their little lisping voices singing “You Are My Sunshine,” albeit with a few missed words. Those sweet sounds now blend with their beautifully sung melodies that take my breath away. They are still my babies, and I cherish that I can recognize the little girls they once were.

Their hugs have evolved; now they can wrap their arms around my neck while standing tall beside me. Yet, when I close my eyes, I can still feel the warm embraces from their chubby arms as they nestled their tiny heads on my shoulder. Though they stand independently, they still ask for a “kid sandwich”—a cozy hug with mom on one side, them in the middle, and dad on the other. There’s no need for lifting in these hugs anymore, but their closeness still gives me a glimpse of the babies they once were.

I watch my 5-year-old growing up, legs stretching out beneath his sheets. His feet are no longer those of an infant; he’s becoming a little boy. He’s losing that roundness and is starting to run faster, escaping from us. I can’t help but wonder if one day, as he stands tall, will I still be able to see my baby in him?

Because I recognize my little ones in each of them, my desire to hold them close remains strong—even if they sometimes resist. Just this morning, I reminded my son about the importance of wearing a coat while waiting for the bus, as I had spent so much of his early years keeping him warm and safe. He looked at me with a mix of pity and understanding, insisting he didn’t need a coat. In that fleeting moment, I worried he might feel he doesn’t need me anymore. But then I reminded myself that the baby in him is still there, albeit in a different way. He’s growing and learning to spread his wings, but he still needs me, just not in the same capacity as before.

Their needs have shifted from being swaddled and tucked in to requiring help with homework, navigating challenges, getting rides to practice, and learning lines for the school play. These moments are filled with their own kind of sweetness, distinct from the earlier days yet equally precious. As we evolve in this new chapter, I realize we are the sum of all our experiences—layering new memories without replacing the old ones. The past remains alive within them, and when the moment is right, they become my little ones again, if only for a brief time. What a gift it is to know that the babies I loved are still part of who they are.

I hold them close whenever I can, cherishing those moments when they allow me to nurture the little ones still within them. I stand tall, take a deep breath, and parent them as they are now. I celebrate their independence and strength, understanding that this is what parenthood is all about. We are preparing our little ones, and ourselves, for the adults they will become. I gaze at them in wonder, my beloved children, and I know that no matter what lies ahead, they will always be my babies.

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Summary

The journey of parenthood is filled with moments that remind us of our children’s infancy, even as they grow. The essence of our little ones remains within them, allowing us to cherish the past while embracing the present. Through their transitions, we learn to nurture their independence while still holding onto the bond we share, ensuring they will always be our babies.


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