Dear Emma,
Yesterday, we shared two wonderful chats, each lasting half an hour, and both ended with you saying, “I love you.” Those sideways half-hugs have blossomed into warm, full embraces, and I can’t tell you how much joy that brings me.
I still cherish the turkey magnets you and Grandma crafted from faux leaves and straw. Mine has proudly hung on our fridge all year, missing a googly eye but still showing off its felt feet and ribbon bow tie. You wrote, “I like you,” on the back—such a sweet sign of progress.
My love for you has always been unwavering, even during those challenging phases. Whether it was when you scratched my face out of family photos, slammed doors, or declared, “You’re not my real mom,” my heart always wanted the best for you. I often worried when you were out late as a teenager, while your dad and I stayed up wondering where you were. Through all the noise and tears, my commitment to your happiness never faltered.
Who could have anticipated that your unexpected pregnancy would forge such a strong bond between us? It’s been a joy to witness your growth and the excitement you and your partner share as you prepare for parenthood. Our recent outing to shop for maternity clothes was perhaps the best shopping experience we’ve ever had—no arguments, just gratitude and care for each other.
You now reach out to me about nursing, your doctor visits, and the anxieties surrounding childbirth. Our conversations have deepened remarkably.
You’ve transformed so much since I first met you at age five—freckled and sporting crooked teeth, hiding sadness behind a tough exterior. Your dad fought hard to bring you here, and your eagerness to move in with us was palpable. While you may have been unsure about having a stepmom, I never hesitated to embrace you and make our family your own.
At our wedding, I wanted to symbolize the union of our family, so I gifted you a silver charm bracelet with three hearts—one for each of us. I vowed to cherish you in every circumstance, and while we’ve weathered some storms, I believe we’ve emerged stronger and more appreciative of one another.
Navigating our relationship was a learning curve. There’s no guidebook for stepmoms, so I relied on my instincts, trying to recreate the memories I had with my own mother. I bought you my favorite childhood books, each inscribed with love and dated from our first Christmas together to your birthday celebrations.
You didn’t always want to cuddle or listen to my silly songs, and you saved the goodnight “I love yous” for your dad. Yet, I kept trying. I picked charms for your bracelet that captured moments in your life, from scooters to soccer balls.
I organized birthday parties, crafted Halloween costumes, and cheered for your achievements, hoping to bond and show that I truly had your back. You were so different from my younger self—radiant, athletic, and effortlessly fitting into skinny jeans, while I struggled with self-image.
Yet, amidst our happiest moments, I felt your longing for your mom. I often questioned whether what we offered was enough—your own decorated room, the undefeated sports teams, or your adoring little brother.
As you step into this new chapter of motherhood, remember that you’re not alone. Resources like Cleveland Clinic’s IVF and Fertility Preservation Podcast can provide valuable insights. And speaking of new beginnings, if you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom offers great supplies. For more tips on this journey, feel free to check out this blog post as well.
Emma, I’m here for you every step of the way, excited to see the incredible mother you will become.
With all my love,
Sarah
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