In today’s climate, navigating conversations about race has become increasingly challenging and often disheartening. The recent presidential primaries have ignited a wave of racially charged rhetoric that I haven’t seen in years. An advertisement from Old Navy, showcasing an interracial family, provoked a backlash on social media, with some users expressing their disdain for “miscegenation” and yearning for “pure breeds.” Additionally, the troubling comments regarding Malia Obama’s acceptance into Harvard have further underscored pervasive racial biases. Like many, I find these events deeply troubling, but for me, they hit closer to home.
As a white woman married to a black man, we are raising three spirited biracial children. My oldest is on the verge of asking tough questions about race and identity, and I am anxious about how to address them. Looking back to 2008, the election of our first black president filled my husband and me with hope. We had often discussed how we never thought we would witness such a milestone in our lifetime. I felt a sense of joy that my son would grow up during a time when a black president was in office, blissfully unaware of the historical significance.
While I can’t cover the entirety of our nation’s complex racial history, I can share my experiences. The racial undertones that have emerged over the past eight years, especially during the recent primaries, have been unsettling. I often find myself overwhelmed with fear for my children’s future.
Fortunately, my kids attend a diverse neighborhood school where they are surrounded by peers of various backgrounds, including those with same-sex parents. However, home remains our true sanctuary. Outside, we often encounter long stares and intrusive questions. On one occasion, while out with just my children, I was asked about their birth mother. My response? I proudly said, “Yes! I know everything there is to know about her!” While I understand the curiosity, I am often taken aback by the lack of social graces.
A friend once shared that her parents adore my husband, but she was unsure how to introduce him to them. This discomfort highlights a troubling reality. I may not have encountered a KKK member in my life, but I have certainly met many who, despite appreciating my husband, would be upset if their child dated a black person.
I can’t change the beliefs of those who view one race as superior to another—I believe only a small percentage hold such views. However, I often wonder if a larger number of people, consciously or subconsciously, harbor negative assumptions about families like mine. If we take a moment to consider a child, we might gain a little perspective.
Imagine a brown-skinned boy with curly hair. You might jump to conclusions about his background, behavior, or intelligence. But he’s just a child who adores Legos and Star Wars, excelling academically. His brother, who recently decided to grow an Afro, is passionate about the Little House on the Prairie books. And our youngest daughter, with her lovely olive skin and soft curls, thinks her brothers are the best. She loves her dolls, both brown and white, and enjoys Thomas the Tank Engine stories.
Regardless of our political beliefs or views on issues like Target’s bathroom policy, we can all agree on the innocence and magic of childhood. I hope my children remain blissfully unaware of terms like “miscegenation” or “half-breed” for many years. I wish for every adult they encounter to see them without preconceptions. Ultimately, I hope they grow up in a world that values character over skin color. That’s my hope.
For additional insights on navigating these discussions, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re considering at-home insemination options, visit CryoBaby for reliable kits. For those exploring fertility treatments, UCSF’s IVF resource is invaluable.
In summary, raising biracial children in a world filled with racial tension is challenging yet rewarding. We must foster an environment that celebrates diversity and nurtures understanding, hoping for a future where love and character triumph over prejudice.
Leave a Reply