My partner, Mike, rises at the crack of dawn every day, catching an early train to the city where he dedicates himself to teaching high school English. When he returns home, I often hand over our two rambunctious little boys to him while I wrap up dinner preparations. After we enjoy our meal and tidy up, I retreat to our bedroom to work, leaving him to manage the bedtime routine, including getting the kids into their pajamas and winding them down for sleep.
Sounds like a solid guy, right? Honestly, I find him incredibly attractive, and seeing him embrace fatherhood only adds to that allure. But here’s the kicker: this hard-working man doesn’t just clock out of parenting when the sun sets. He actively participates in nighttime parenting duties, stepping in when our kids need us during those late hours.
Let’s be real: our children aren’t the best sleepers. Nighttime interruptions are all too common in our household. Whether it’s a baby needing to be rocked, a toddler asking for another glass of water, or a child having a nightmare, Mike is right there alongside me, responding to their needs almost as often as I do.
And you know what? This shouldn’t be a rarity. It’s high time we recognize that all fathers should contribute during the night. If you and your partner brought a child into this world—whether through birth, adoption, or guardianship—there’s no excuse for one person to bear the brunt of nighttime responsibilities.
I’ve heard the justifications: “He works so hard; he needs his rest.” I get it, I truly do. But let’s not forget: you’re working hard too. Whether you’re managing a home, juggling a job, or spending your days with the kids, you’re putting in serious effort. So why should fathers get a pass when it comes to nighttime duties?
Let’s call it what it is—pure sexism. It’s disheartening to see this mindset even in the most progressive families. Dads insisting they’re too exhausted to help with a newborn, or assuming their stay-at-home partners will handle everything, is just wrong. And it’s frustrating to witness moms enabling this behavior, believing that they should be the ones to shoulder the exhaustion.
Sure, I understand that sometimes children have a preference for their mothers at night. I remember when my breastfeeding babies would only want me. That was fine by me. But when it came to diaper changes, soothing sick little ones, or dealing with those chaotic nights when the kids were wide awake for no apparent reason—Mike was right there, stepping up.
If we hadn’t shared the responsibilities of nighttime care, I would have been utterly sleep-deprived—or I might have even lost it completely. Our relationship wouldn’t have stood a chance.
I know there are plenty of amazing fathers who recognize that parenting is a round-the-clock commitment and don’t hesitate to lend a hand. However, there are just as many who make it clear from the start that they want no part in nighttime responsibilities. To those dads, let me be blunt: that’s not acceptable.
And to the moms who tolerate it: stand up for yourselves. Don’t allow that behavior to continue unchecked. Parenting is tough and exhausting; you probably knew that going in. Some families are lucky to have great sleepers, while others face sleepless nights. Either way, the burden of caring for children during those hours should not fall on one person alone.
The reality is that if you start stepping up to help with nighttime parenting, not only will you forge deeper connections with your kids, but you’ll also create a happier, more rested partner who is less likely to snap or consider filing for divorce.
For more insights into parenting dynamics, check out our other post here. And if you’re exploring options for at-home insemination, consider visiting our recommended retailer for reliable at-home insemination kits. Plus, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC offers fantastic resources that you might find helpful.
Summary
In a world where parenting responsibilities are often unbalanced, it’s essential for all parents, especially fathers, to step up during nighttime duties. Sharing these responsibilities not only strengthens family bonds but also contributes to a healthier partnership. Recognizing and addressing this issue is crucial for the well-being of everyone involved.
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