Recently, I found myself in a Rite Aid with my son, navigating the card aisle on our way home from school. “Go pick a First Communion card for your cousin while I check out the Mother’s Day section,” I suggested.
Curiosity sparked in my 7-year-old’s eyes. “What’s a ‘First Communion’?” he asked, and I felt that familiar knot in my stomach.
Growing up in a strict Catholic environment, I was well-versed in the rituals, having completed all the sacraments and participated in mission trips. While I still identify as a spiritual person, I often grapple with the teachings from my past that felt more like obligations than genuine beliefs. When my son was born, my husband and I made a conscious decision not to baptize him; I simply couldn’t accept the notion that our innocent child was born sinful. My husband, not being religious, felt aligned with this choice.
Over the years, we’ve enrolled our son in various religious summer camps, and I’ve answered his questions about spirituality whenever they arise. However, for the most part, religion hasn’t been a significant part of our daily lives. It wasn’t until that moment in the store that I realized how little he knew about certain traditions. As I answered his questions, I felt a pang of uncertainty. Perhaps he’s starting to understand the world in a new way, and I began to question whether I was making the right choices as a parent.
What I do know is that each day, I strive to do right by him. Will I ever find out if my decisions were the correct ones? Maybe—the proof may come years down the line. For now, we are navigating parenthood on our own terms, and that feels right.
If my son ever expresses a desire to learn more about religion or to attend church regularly, I would support him wholeheartedly. However, it would have to be his decision, rooted in his own curiosity rather than any pressure or expectation. My greatest fear is imposing my beliefs on him, as I experienced in my own upbringing, simply because it was seen as the “right” thing to do.
I want him to develop his own sense of spirituality, making choices that resonate with him personally. If it’s meaningful to him, then it will be meaningful to me. Ultimately, that connection—rather than obligation—is what I hope to foster.
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In summary, our family’s approach to religion is grounded in choice, understanding, and respect for individuality. We aim to provide an environment where our son can explore his beliefs, free from the constraints of obligation.
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