Every morning starts with a familiar scene: my kids bouncing on our bed. We’ve got a queen mattress side-carred to a single boxspring on the floor, creating a perfect trampoline for little ones. Sure, they can’t hurt the mattress, and the risk of falling is minimal, but the sheer energy radiating from them can be overwhelming. Yet, I find myself gritting my teeth and saying, “Yes, you can jump on the bed—just don’t do a somersault over your brother!”
Sometimes, it’s easy to say yes to my children. “Yes, you can wear your superhero costume to the zoo!” or “Yes, ice cream for breakfast sounds fun today!” But there are moments when saying yes takes real effort. It challenges my instincts as a parent and demands patience I don’t always possess. It’s not just about whimsical adventures; it’s about navigating the daily chaos of parenting.
Take coloring, for example. I’ve always enjoyed it and prefer to stay within the lines, believing that’s the essence of coloring. But my boys often have different ideas, creating wild, vibrant designs that don’t quite match my vision. It’s hard for me not to react with frustration when I see their “art” sprawled across pages in ways I find unappealing. When I ask them to color within the lines, I can see their excitement dwindle. They don’t want to create art the way I envisioned; they want to express themselves freely.
This internal struggle is the crux of my journey toward saying yes more: adjusting my expectations. We often have preconceived notions about how things should be. Pens should stay away from faces (even if preschoolers see them as a tool for pirate mustaches), puddles are not meant for splashing, and dead bugs should stay outdoors. We’ve been conditioned to say no.
Realizing this internalized “no” is vital if we want to embrace a more open-minded approach to parenting. We must learn to see the world through our children’s eyes. Beds can be for jumping, ketchup might actually taste good on chips, and it’s perfectly fine to get muddy just for the fun of it—after all, there’s always time to clean up later. It’s okay to wear a swimsuit to the store or to run barefoot on a hiking trail. The challenge lies in our instinctual responses; can we let go and say yes instead?
Adjusting expectations can feel daunting. Saying yes often results in messy faces and mismatched outfits—like going up the slide instead of down. You might feel like a renegade parent, attracting curious glances or even disapproving stares from others. Why do they get to jump in mud while I have to stay clean? Why can’t my child wade into the creek, or wear a princess dress for grocery shopping? Other parents might eye you with envy or frustration, as chaos can spread quickly.
Just the other day, my son donned his Darth Vader costume for a trip to the store. We received a few high-fives and plenty of smiles. One teenager even remarked, “If you can’t go to the store dressed as Darth Vader at five, when can you?”
Remember, your child is only five once. It’s time to kick that internalized “no” to the curb. There will be a lifetime ahead of them where they’ll encounter “no” much more often than “yes.” So, let’s embrace the moment and offer them the “yes” they deserve—and in doing so, we can also give ourselves the freedom to say yes.
So take a deep breath. Let go of your expectations. And just say yes.
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Summary
Saying yes to our children can be a challenge but is essential in nurturing their creativity and freedom. By adjusting our expectations and embracing their perspective, we can foster a joyful environment where kids can explore and express themselves.
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