As a seasoned parent, I now find myself observing the ongoing Mommy Wars from the sidelines. In my old and wise voice—back in the day, when my children were small, the internet was just beginning to blossom, and I was still figuring out how to create a fun email address. There weren’t blogs or parenting websites, and terms like “selfie,” “blog,” “text,” “viral,” and “followers” either hadn’t been coined or held entirely different meanings.
I raised my kids in a way that suited both them and me. Bedtime routines were tailored to our family’s needs, and discipline was a flexible concept based on what felt right in the moment. Sure, there were plenty of mom groups—early childhood education sessions, nursing groups, playdates, and the ever-watchful mommies at the park. I experienced judgment, and yes, I’ll admit to casting judgment myself.
However, we weren’t under the constant scrutiny of the entire world. There weren’t Facebook friends silently critiquing our parenting missteps as they scrolled through their feeds. Instagram hadn’t yet turned a simple snapshot of our babies into a battleground of opinions.
As cliché as it may sound, those days were simpler. Yet with age comes wisdom, and I’d like to share some of that with the new generation of mothers:
I know it’s tough, ladies. You’re facing pressures from all directions that you never knew existed. But here’s a secret from this weathered mom—soon enough, the world’s gaze will shift to the next wave of novice parents. You’ll find yourself surrounded by your now-grown children, free from the prying eyes of onlookers (unless you have a dog, then expect a different kind of nosy intrusion). Enjoy that freedom; it’s as satisfying as a dinner you get to savor while it’s still hot.
I currently spend a lot of time with young adults—three of my own children, in fact. They’re all of voting age now, and one can legally buy alcohol (trust me, it has its perks!). They manage their own laundry and can drive cars that don’t sport “Little Tikes” on their license plates.
Unlike those early years when I was still figuring it out, you can now see my children as nearly fully formed adults. They’ve made their fair share of mistakes, and while I occasionally worry about their future partners questioning my parenting, I take pride in who they’ve become.
In large groups of kids today, the choices their parents made during their upbringing aren’t as apparent. Gone are the pacifiers, diapers, and formula bottles. Instead, I see young people—nearly complete individuals. I can’t tell who was breastfed or who had formula. I have no clue who was in daycare or who had a stay-at-home parent.
But here’s what does stand out: I can identify the kids who were taught manners, who were expected to clean up after themselves, and who learned how to win and lose gracefully. It’s clear which children were raised with respect for others and a strong work ethic. I’ve seen children from tough backgrounds blossom into academic stars while some from seemingly perfect homes grapple with serious issues.
This observation extends beyond my kids and their friends. When I’m out, whether it’s in a grocery store or at a school function, you can spot those who were raised to be polite and gracious amid a sea of rudeness. I have colleagues who dedicate their own time to tidy up shared spaces while others leave messes behind.
So, what’s the takeaway? Parenting is challenging, and we all stumble along the way. What you do in the early years will matter, and yet, it won’t. Confusing? Welcome to parenthood. Just do your best. Ignore the naysayers, brush off the judgmental critics, and quell that nagging self-doubt. Focus on what truly matters. Remember, in five, ten, or fifteen years, your children will be navigating the world, crossing paths with those who hide behind screens and spew negativity. Your mission is to ensure your child doesn’t become one of them.
For more insightful discussions on fertility and parenting, check out this informative post. If you’re considering home insemination, you can find reliable options at Make a Mom. Also, for further information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Johns Hopkins Fertility Center.
Summary:
Parenting is a complex journey filled with challenges and judgments. It’s essential to focus on your parenting style and the values you instill in your children rather than the opinions of others. Over time, the pressures will diminish, and what truly matters is nurturing well-rounded, respectful individuals.
Leave a Reply