Parenting often involves navigating uncomfortable discussions. I still remember the awkward morning when I found myself explaining the birds and the bees to my 8-year-old, far earlier than I had anticipated. Since then, I’ve tried to prepare myself for those inevitable conversations. I’ve mentally rehearsed talks about everything from bullying to hygiene to the complexities of alcohol use. But what about the talk on sexual orientation?
I hope that by the time my children reach their teenage years, their choice of whom to date will be a non-issue. I want to believe that I’ve nurtured an environment where diversity is not just accepted, but celebrated. I envision my kids growing up surrounded by various family structures, not just through TV shows but in real life, so that any challenges they face are buffered by a strong support system.
I want them to feel loved, accepted, and celebrated, regardless of their sexual orientation. Yet, I recognize that love alone may not always be enough. There will be moments when they need reassurance, when words may get tangled, and when they might feel isolated in their struggles.
So, if that moment comes, here’s what I would express to them:
My Dearest Child,
I love you. Your other parent loves you. Your siblings love you.
Right now, you might roll your eyes at my declarations, but I understand that those three simple words might not feel adequate. You deserve to feel more than just loved — you deserve to feel understood and celebrated.
It’s easy to say that attraction is trivial in the grand scheme of life. What truly matters is finding someone who loves and respects you, regardless of their gender. It’s about feeling cherished and valued. You already know this, but it’s worth repeating.
While I may not fully grasp everything you’re experiencing, I promise to make an effort to understand. Bear with me as I ask questions that may seem foolish or worry about things that may appear trivial. It’s just part of being a parent.
Your other parent and I have always supported love in all its forms. We believe everyone should have the freedom to love whomever they choose. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t always share our views. I wish it were otherwise; I wish society celebrated uniqueness and recognized the beauty of love in all its shapes and sizes.
However, the reality is that some people can be unkind. While I can affirm that you are a treasure to our family and the world, I know some may not treat you with the same kindness. It’s my responsibility to help you navigate this sometimes harsh reality.
Remember this: there’s a distinction between those who are simply ignorant and those who are intentionally cruel. The former might ask thoughtless questions, but their intentions aren’t malicious. The latter, however, are just being hurtful. It’s essential to learn to let go of the negativity they bring.
Try to forgive those who don’t understand, but don’t waste your energy on those who choose to be cruel. Embrace Kurt Vonnegut’s wisdom: “Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.” In simpler terms, don’t let the negativity of others affect your spirit.
I know you may feel scared and uncertain. I wish I could take that pain away. But here’s a little secret: we all have our fears and confusions. It’s how we confront and deal with those feelings that shapes who we are. Don’t shy away from your emotions; use them as fuel for growth, love, and life.
While being gay encompasses more than just physical intimacy, let’s briefly touch on that topic. Yes, we’re having the “sex talk,” and I’m serious about it! Engage in sexual experiences only when you feel ready and are prepared for the consequences. Make no mistake, whether you’re attracted to girls or boys, my advice remains the same.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Your gender and sexuality don’t define you; your character does. Embrace who you are and strive to be the best version of yourself. That will always be more than enough, even when those three little words fall short.
And hey, if you want to invite your “friend” Jamie to our next family gathering, that sounds wonderful. Just as powerful is the message I would give regarding friendship: If someone you care about comes out, simply be supportive. Their love life is their business. Just be a good friend and invite them over for dinner one night. I’m making lasagna.
In Conclusion
Parenting is an ongoing journey filled with vital discussions, love, and support. The goal is to create a safe space where our children understand that they are valued and can navigate the world confidently.
For more insights on navigating sensitive topics in parenting, check out this engaging article here. If you need resources for at-home insemination kits, I recommend visiting Make a Mom. Additionally, Progyny provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Leave a Reply