I can’t quite pinpoint the moment it happened, but one day I woke up and realized my kids had outgrown their baby and toddler stages. They no longer needed me to pour cereal or lift them from their cribs. The days of mixing pink syrup into their milk-filled sippy cups are long gone. Now, we’ve traded in the sippy cups for lacrosse gear, and the sweet scent of babyhood has been replaced by the unmistakable aroma of pre-teen sweat—a gentle reminder to my 10-year-old that it’s time for a shower (yes, now, please).
Just last weekend, all four of my children were home, each engaged in their own activities. The house was eerily quiet. I turned to my partner and asked, “Is this really happening?” He chuckled and said, “They’re not really yours anymore.” My heart sank a little as I replied, “Of course they are!” Who gave him the authority to say that?
Even though they seem more independent, I still play a vital role in their lives, though that role has shifted. I’m no longer in the trenches of everyday chaos—instead, I find myself in a different place altogether.
Before any of them rode the school bus, I took them to a toddler morning at a local roller-skating rink, where bikes and scooters were the main attractions. It was always a bit of a circus. The moment we entered, whatever toy they were excited about was instantly forgotten as they spotted a new Big Wheel. Despite the chaos, we needed those outings to survive the long winter months.
The central area of the rink was the hub of it all. It was where nursing mothers gathered, where tantrums erupted, and where beginners fell time and again. This was the space where mothers exchanged knowing glances, each of us understanding the struggle of leaving the house regardless of how challenging it was.
On the outer ring, however, there was often a lone mother gliding gracefully on roller skates. Her kids were older, confidently riding bikes and skating without her assistance. She was still present but had transitioned into a supportive figure rather than a necessity. With hands free and a smile on her face, she had earned her place in this new phase of motherhood.
I never imagined I would become that mother, but here I am.
When you’re deep in the throes of motherhood—the tears at the skating rink or the grocery store meltdowns—it’s hard to believe that life could take on a different rhythm. I promise you this: one day, you’ll find yourself at home, enveloped in silence. You’ll finish a thought without interruption. You’ll savor a cup of coffee while it’s still warm. And while this newfound quiet may unsettle you, it will also be a remarkable experience. You will have earned this peace. You might even miss the commotion, and that’s perfectly okay.
Even so, your role is ever-present. You remain the chef, the chauffeur, the laundry manager, and the go-to problem solver for anything your child misplaces or needs on any given day. You are still the queen bee of your family—forever.
This new ring of motherhood doesn’t have a defined end; it merely evolves into another stage. It’s easier in many respects, yet it brings new challenges as well. As much as it can wear you down, it also builds you back up. So wherever you find yourself on this journey, know that it’s both difficult and beautiful, and you will emerge from it stronger. Somewhere out there, another mother is wishing for just one more day in the chaotic phase you currently inhabit, longing for the laughter, the fullness, and the hope that comes with it all. This is the bittersweet reality of motherhood, a journey unlike any other.
Here’s to every stage of motherhood. Here’s to us.
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Summary:
Motherhood is an evolving journey that shifts from the chaos of babyhood to quieter, independent moments. While the challenges change, the need for a mother’s presence remains constant. Embrace every stage, knowing that you are both needed and admired, even as you find yourself in a different place.
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