Please Let That Be Rain: A Sports Mom’s Inner Musings

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As a devoted sports mom, I find myself juggling countless responsibilities each day. I spend about a third of my life sleeping, another third contemplating dinner options, and the final third cheering my kids on at youth sports events—soccer, basketball, lacrosse, football—you name it. These countless hours on the sidelines offer a unique opportunity for deep reflections, not to mention the occasional indulgence in a pack of Sour Patch Kids. After all, where else can an adult enjoy candy without drawing sideways glances?

Watching my children compete is something I genuinely cherish, but let’s face it—by the time you hit game number 1,038 of the season, maintaining focus can be a challenge. This often leads to some rather amusing and random thoughts racing through my mind:

• Why are we always parked so far from the field?
• Seriously, I cannot believe I forgot my blanket again. Oh, wait—it’s in the car, but the dog had an accident on it. Should I still grab it? Gross. Only if it gets really cold.
• Why is this chair so uncomfortable?
• Why do I always end up with the broken one? At this rate, I might as well just stay put until everyone else leaves. My knees are practically in my face. Just smile; no one will notice.
• How old are those kids on the opposing team? They look massive. That one definitely can’t be 10—does he have facial hair? He could probably drive himself here… and stop for a beer on the way. Hilarious. I could go for a beer right now. Oh wait, I don’t even drink beer.
• I really love this sport, though.
• Do I have cankles?
• Am I the only one still rocking capris? I need a shopping spree. Nobody looks good in capris. Actually, that mom looks great in them—she must do pilates or something.
• Is there a bar nearby?
• How many minutes has my son played? Three? I should probably download an app to track playtime. Nah, apps are overrated. Mmm… apps… like buffalo chicken dip. Or maybe edamame—oh wait, that’s just trendy lima beans.
• Was that a raindrop?
• I hope that was rain.
• Wow, that guy is loud.
• Oh wait, that’s my husband. Not a jerk, just a little too enthusiastic. I must be exhausted.
• Is that a bee? I can’t get out of this chair! IS THAT A BEE?!
• It’s chilly for spring.
• I wish I had that blanket. I need to wash it. I need to do laundry. And empty the dishwasher. And clean out the closets. And tackle that mountain of papers on the kitchen table. We need a new kitchen table. Or maybe a new kitchen entirely. We should just move.
• Is that my son out there?
• What number is he wearing again?
• Why is that other kid always playing? Oh, right—coach’s son. He’s terrible, but he just scored. What a ball hog.
• Wow, I really missed a spot shaving—like, my entire left leg.
• Uh-oh, here comes that mom to chat with me.
• What’s her name again? Focus. Look straight ahead.
• I love her hair.
• I hate my hair.
• I definitely felt rain.
• What should I make for dinner?
• I despise making dinner. Do we even need to eat?
• I need to use the restroom.
• It’s a long trek to the bathroom, and those facilities are disgusting. No toilet paper, no hand towels—why are there always spiders? I can hold it. I’m stuck in this chair anyway. I can’t feel my legs.
• I can’t believe I forgot my fleece again. Go blue!
• Am I being too loud? That felt like a Rosie O’Donnell moment.
• Is there a bar near here?
• What number is my son wearing?
• Do I really have to cook dinner?
• How many times have we had pizza this week? We can have it again—pizza isn’t that bad. It’s definitely healthier than fried chicken or… well, you know.
• Did I just miss my child scoring?
• Oh no, I didn’t see it. I’ll just tell him I did. Great job, bud! Oops, don’t call him “bud.” What’s the score?
• What inning is it? What quarter are we in? What day is it? That didn’t look like a foul—wait, was that rain? I think I felt rain. I hope that was rain.
• Did we really drive two hours to play this team?
• I hate this sport sometimes.
• I could go for a bite of that guy’s pretzel.
• Oops, did I say that out loud? Maybe he’s staring at my cankles.
• What’s the score?
• I like her sunglasses; they make her look like Tina Fey. They’d probably make me look like Tina Belcher.
• Is that rain?
• That was definitely out of bounds. What’s the score?
• She seems nice.
• Never mind, she’s a total screamer.
• Is this game almost over?
• Where did I park my car? Where is my other child? Where are you now that I need you? Great, now I have that Justin Bieber song stuck in my head.
• I could really go for shrimp and linguine.
• Wow, that’s random. With a glass of wine… now we’re talking. Wasn’t “Look Who’s Talking” a movie? Who was in that? Bruce Willis. Where are you now, Bruce?
• Did I even bring my other child?
• Where are you… Get out of my head, Justin. Do I hear thunder?
• I should take some pictures.
• Darn, memory full. Delete, delete… oh, cute moment! Delete. What’s the score?
• Overtime? Oh no, please no.
• I really need to pee. Was that rain?
• Please let that be rain.

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Summary

This humorous reflection captures the chaotic yet relatable inner dialogue of a sports mom navigating the complexities of youth sports, from forgotten blankets to thoughts of dinner, all while cheering for her kids. With a mix of humor and honesty, it highlights the multitasking nature of parenting and the unique experiences that come with being a sports mom.