Dear Third Trimester,
Let’s cut to the chase: you can be a real challenge. Every expectant mother eagerly anticipates your arrival, but then you swoop in and say, “Surprise! You’ve got a solid 12 weeks ahead, and that growing belly of yours? Yeah, it’s about to become a whole lot rounder.”
Wait, hold up. Twelve weeks? That’s practically three months. Or roughly 90 days. That’s a staggering number of sleepless nights filled with acid reflux, multiple bathroom trips, and the occasional Charley horse. It’s no wonder you’re not the most popular trimester. You drag on indefinitely, and by this point, the sober lifestyle that pregnancy demands is starting to feel a bit tedious. All she wants is to unwind with friends over a few glasses of wine, just to feel like herself again. Because let’s be honest, while pregnant, “normal” seems like a distant memory. Instead, we’re left snoring, feeling moody, and missing out while a tiny human is doing gymnastics inside, all while we’re trying to maintain that elusive pregnancy glow.
And here we are—twelve more weeks of this. Twelve weeks when everyone tells you to relax, put your feet up, and take it easy. Sure, you’re creating a life, and that’s the ultimate excuse to heed their advice, but when your ribs feel like they’re trapped beneath a watermelon-sized baby, lounging becomes a distant dream.
Sure, the first trimester had its share of morning sickness, and the second brought the joys of bulging veins, but at least my wardrobe still fit. Then you arrived, dear third trimester, and suddenly my oversized tees are struggling to contain my underbelly. Yes, my maternity jeans? They’ve turned into a torture device for my hips. Elastic can only stretch so far!
Now I’m stuck in the dilemma of whether to invest in bigger clothes. Do I really want to buy a whole new wardrobe for just 12 weeks? But with the way things are fitting, it’s clear I’ll have to. So, I splurge on a new round of maternity wear, accompanied by a new handbag because, let’s face it, I can justify that expense by comparing it to the money saved on martinis and sushi over the past seven months. Handbags, unlike maternity jeans, always fit!
And while I could dive into the nitty-gritty of all the discomforts that accompany these last weeks, let’s skip that for now. Just know that sneezing has officially turned into a fear factor for me. With a bowling ball pushing down on my bladder, the stakes have never been higher!
Third trimester, I’m not wishing you away; I just want you to move along a bit faster. I’ve braved you three times before, and while I often doubt when you’ll finally end, I know that you eventually do. You won’t last forever. But yes, in all honesty, you can be quite the pain. Given my current state of pregnancy hormones and my newfound fear of sneezing (yes, that’s a real thing), you’re going to have to accept your title. You’re a challenge I love to hate, but for all your antics, you’re necessary—I need you because every moment spent with you means I’m one step closer to meeting my baby.
So here’s hoping for a smooth ride over the next 90 days. But please, cut me a little slack. I’m not the same woman I was seven years ago when we first crossed paths.
Sincerely,
An (impatient) mom-to-be who might soon realize that navigating the third trimester is a piece of cake compared to raising four kids.
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Summary
The third trimester can be a tough phase for expectant mothers, filled with physical challenges and emotional ups and downs. This letter humorously captures the frustrations and realities of those final weeks before welcoming a new baby. The author expresses a mix of impatience and affection for this trying time, reminding readers that each moment brings them closer to their little one.
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