“Hey love, what’s on your mind?”
I hesitated, weighing the pros and cons of sharing my inner thoughts versus giving the usual breezy response that would keep things light.
“Just the usual stuff,” I replied, which was only partially true.
In reality, like countless other mothers, my mind was racing. What was I thinking about when he asked? Well, it could have been anything from what to cook for dinner to the laundry pile threatening to take over the house.
“Did I remember to pick up the dry cleaning? Is my daughter eating enough greens? I missed that deadline again—is that a sign of anxiety? I should really check in with my doctor…” The mental checklist went on: “Do the kids need their vaccines? I need to call the pediatrician. Did I register my son for school? And oh, he’s outgrown all his clothes. I need to switch the laundry over. What’s that smell? Did I forget to wash it again? Ugh, I miss my little boy—can’t wait to see him again.”
When I finally responded, it was just a sliver of the chaos swirling in my mind. Not that I couldn’t share these thoughts; I absolutely could. But this is the reality of “mom brain,” or what many of us refer to as the mental load.
This constant juggling act is why so many mothers feel drained, even when we don’t show it on the surface. Ask any mom how she’s doing, and you’ll likely hear “I’m tired.” It’s not purely from lack of sleep; it’s something deeper, a weight that’s hard to quantify.
When my partner returns home, I genuinely want to ease his burden, so I ask him about his day. Yet, while I’m listening, my mental hamster wheel keeps spinning away.
Fellow moms, you know exactly what I mean. If we don’t remember to move the laundry, it won’t get done. If we skip the veggies, the kids will just go without. Appointments, grocery lists, and packing for vacations all exist on that invisible checklist in our minds.
Recognizing this mental load is crucial, but it doesn’t mean we have to change everything about it. Sometimes, simply acknowledging that this mental burden exists can be transformative. It explains why we feel exhausted even when it seems like we’ve accomplished little. Everything that remains undone loops endlessly in our minds.
Moms, you are nothing short of amazing. You’re like that high-end glue that holds everything together while remaining unnoticed. But perhaps we don’t always have to carry this weight alone.
Next time someone asks, “What’s on your mind?” consider sharing your thoughts. It might lighten your load, even if just for a moment. And if they respond in confusion, reach out to another mom—because we truly understand one another.
This burden may be invisible, but it’s incredibly heavy. Let’s be open with each other and share the load.
For more on this topic, check out this insightful post on emotional labor here. If you’re looking for resources regarding pregnancy, this link is an excellent guide. And for those considering at-home insemination, you can find reputable kits at Make a Mom.
In summary, emotional labor is a significant contributor to the exhaustion many mothers feel, extending far beyond merely being tired from lack of sleep. Acknowledging this mental load can help us connect and support one another.
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