When I first became pregnant, I assumed that as my body changed and my belly grew, my desire for intimacy would dwindle. But to my surprise, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. My hormones were in overdrive! My partner and I maintained a healthy sex life right up until around the 36-week mark, when everything started to shift.
As the well-meaning advice poured in about how intimacy could help induce labor, I found myself feeling desperate for those last few weeks to pass. However, my experience of sex took a nosedive. With my belly getting in the way, I couldn’t see anything below, and finding a comfortable position became increasingly difficult. All I really wanted during those final days of pregnancy was some restful sleep—without the aches or constant bathroom trips. I figured that after the baby arrived, along with the recovery and sleepless nights, intimacy would drop to the bottom of my priority list.
But once my little one made their grand entrance, I was taken aback by how my libido had returned with a vengeance! It didn’t seem to matter that we were both running on empty or that I was wearing a maxi-pad that felt like a sofa cushion. My partner and I found ourselves irresistibly drawn to each other. Even after those late-night feedings, we’d climb back into bed, stealing kisses like we were teenagers again (though admittedly, we didn’t have those kinds of moments back in high school).
As I reveled in my newfound desire, I eagerly awaited my six-week postpartum checkup. I was like a kid counting down to Christmas, anticipating my doctor’s approval to resume sexual activity. When the day finally arrived, I was thrilled to hear that everything had healed well following my C-section, and I was ready to discuss birth control options. But then came the unexpected reality check.
The doctor casually mentioned, “Just so you know, sex after pregnancy might not be great.” Seriously? Did she even understand how ready I was? She continued, “It might feel like your first time again. It could hurt.” I was baffled. My first experience had been a blur, but I was confident this wouldn’t be the same.
Oh boy, was I wrong. The reality was painful—like a slap in the face. A few nights later, we tried again, and my partner suggested a different position. Yet, it didn’t feel much better. I was moving at a snail’s pace, and it was far from enjoyable. This was confusing, especially since we had always had a smooth and enjoyable sex life. Now, it felt like a workout—hard and painful.
I was frustrated for two reasons. First, I had a C-section, so I didn’t expect my body to have changed in that area. Second, I thought if anything would be different, it would be that things felt a bit looser. Instead, it felt as though my body had tightened up significantly.
A couple of friends offered their suggestions: try more lube, let me take the lead, or even have a glass of wine beforehand. I hadn’t had alcohol in almost a year, so even one glass put me well past tipsy. But it didn’t help. And let’s not forget the added pressure of having a baby sleeping just a room away—there’s nothing quite like the distraction of trying to stifle your cries of discomfort while being hyperaware of the little one nearby.
Just as I was ready to give up in frustration, we tried again. This time, to my immense relief, it didn’t hurt. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I started crying mid-intimacy. My partner, thinking I was in pain, stopped. After assuring him I was perfectly fine, we resumed.
Gradually, everything fell back into place, and the experience became enjoyable once more. Sure, crying during sex wasn’t ideal, but the relief of pain-free intimacy was worth it. The following encounters were even better. It may take time, but things do improve.
Just remember—try not to wake the baby.
For more insights on navigating intimacy after pregnancy, check out this informative post on Cervical Insemination or explore reputable options like this at-home insemination kit for your journey. If you’re interested in understanding more about the success rates, WebMD offers great resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating intimacy after pregnancy can be a surprising and challenging experience. While many expect a decrease in libido, many new parents find their desire for intimacy returns. However, physical challenges can arise, particularly after a C-section, leading to discomfort during sex. It’s essential to communicate openly with your partner and be patient, as things can improve over time.
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