“Mom! What’s taking so long in there?” my energetic 4-year-old’s voice echoed through the bathroom door.
“Uh, just…uh, taking a break! I really need a moment of privacy!” I stammered, desperately trying to sound convincing.
“Then why are you sitting on the floor flipping through a magazine?” The door swung open, and there she was, peering in with wide eyes. I thought I had locked it this time.
“Just gathering ideas for our pretend salon!” I replied, hurriedly standing up and brushing off the remnants of my quick escape from reality. “Let’s find those scissors!”
Of course, that was a fib. I was hiding, not planning a fun activity. My daughter is relentless. Earlier that day, we had read a mountain of books, tackled a seemingly endless pile of puzzles, and played Candy Land until I was convinced I could hear the board game whispering to me. I was halfway through an imaginary hair styling session when I decided I needed a break.
This little game of hide-and-seek started back in September when her older sisters began school five days a week. I’m completely out of my depth here. I can’t fully recall what it’s like to have an only child; my girls are 4, 5, and 6, so just as I was getting accustomed to one, another would pop up, saying, “Wanna play?”
Sure, having three kids so close in age brings its own set of challenges. My daily dose of anxiety medication often coincides with grocery shopping, and that’s no coincidence. However, my parenting duties at home are relatively lax. I simply open the toy box and call them for dinner or strap on their bike helmets and see them at bedtime. They build fairy houses in the backyard and race scooters in the driveway, or if we’re being honest, they sometimes engage in epic battles that resemble feral cats fighting while I enjoy a book on the patio.
But this year is a different story. With my youngest attending preschool three days a week, I’m left alone with my 4-year-old for two entire days—just the two of us—and it’s exhausting.
“Sure, after we finish this stack of books, we can read every other one on the shelf a million times!”
“Absolutely! The first 15 rounds of Uno are merely a warm-up!”
“Let’s play ‘Mom is a Jungle Gym’ again!”
There’s no escape. There’s no “off” switch. She hunts me down like a lioness, even detecting my presence behind closed doors.
What I find fascinating is how my friends with only children often express guilt about their decision to stop at one. Many feel they’ve taken the easy route.
Good news to parents of only kids! After conducting some real-life research, you can toss that guilt out the window along with your dreams of sneaking away for a moment of peace.
Despite the challenges, this one-on-one time with my youngest has been enlightening. I’m learning who she is as an individual—not just as the younger sister of her siblings. We sit down for puzzles, practice her letters, and have uninterrupted conversations. It’s quite the experience. I genuinely envy parents who get to know their only child in such an intimate way right from the start.
Interestingly, this unexpected alone time has made me want to slow down and carve out individual moments with my other two daughters as well. Not in the immediate future, but someday—once I’ve had a chance to catch my breath.
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In summary, while parenting an only child comes with its unique set of challenges, the opportunity for deep, meaningful connections is something truly special.
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