Updated: Aug. 5, 2023
Originally Published: April 5, 2016
“It takes a village to raise a child,” is a saying we’ve all heard. In a traditional village, you’d have your mother, aunts, friends, and even the local midwife to lean on during those challenging early days. They understand the sleepless nights, the painful breastfeeding challenges, and the concerning postpartum experiences. These women offer advice laced with personal knowledge and compassion.
Fast forward to today’s information age. While we are more connected than ever, we often find ourselves more isolated from those supportive communities of the past. Why reach out to someone nearby when you can simply consult Google? Concerned about your milk supply? Unsure about that rash? The internet is just a click away! However, the information you find can just as easily cause panic as it can provide helpful solutions.
This realization brings us to a modern alternative—the Facebook moms’ group. In the absence of a close-knit physical community, many new mothers turn to one of the countless Facebook groups dedicated to parenting. Suddenly, a plethora of advice is accessible to you with just a post! No need to leave your couch or call Aunt Margaret. Sounds amazing, right?
Initially, it can be incredibly supportive. Post a question, and a wave of comforting responses floods in: “That’s totally normal, Mama! You’re doing a fantastic job!” It can feel reassuring.
“Just a bit of eczema—don’t stress! A little coconut oil after baths should do the trick.”
“If she’s having six wet diapers a day, she’s getting enough milk! Keep going, Mama!”
“Looks like cradle cap; breast milk rubbed on his scalp can help.”
Before long, you’ll notice that breast milk and coconut oil seem to be the cure-alls for everything! Eye infections? Breast milk. Unidentified rashes? Coconut oil. Your toddler’s first cold? Breast milk. Mother-in-law drama? Coconut oil. Flat tire? Breast milk. Annoying political ads? Coconut oil.
Within weeks, you’ll find your rhythm as a new parent. Still, you’ll likely find yourself regularly turning to your Facebook moms’ group for advice, encouragement, and camaraderie. You might even find joy in offering advice to others, which can be emotionally fulfilling.
The Know-It-All Mom
She believes her way is the only way—everyone else is wrong. Her child mirrors hers, and you’d better heed her guidance or face her wrath. She’s the one who debates endlessly about topics long after others have moved on. Cloth diapers? Check. Homeschooling? Absolutely. The kind of mom who gives passionate cloth diaperers a bad name.
Dr. Expert
This mom has all the answers and knows better than any doctor. She’s often a vehement anti-vaxxer. According to her, her cousin’s friend had the exact issue you’re dealing with, and of course, the doctor was clueless. What your child truly needs is a breast milk enema and a healthy dose of coconut oil—oh, and maybe some herbal remedies she just happens to sell through her multi-level marketing gig.
Trigger Alert Mom
TAM is offended by everything. She makes sure to announce her triggers on every thread, insisting you tag your post with a “TRIGGER ALERT” before asking your question. Heaven forbid you mention your baby’s refusal to eat carrots—there are moms in this group who’ve faced much worse situations, and you should feel guilty about sharing your trivial concerns.
I Thought Women Were Safe Here Mom
This mom is appalled to find a man in the group. She forgets that he could be a supportive stay-at-home parent or a single dad seeking help. All she can think about is how she posted a personal question months ago, and now a guy might have seen it.
Fortunately, there’s an easy fix for these situations—utilize Facebook’s “Block” feature generously. It’s a far better remedy for mommy group frustrations than any home remedy you’ve read about.
Most importantly, if discussions start making you feel tense instead of relaxed, it’s best to leave that group without a second thought. You’ve learned all you can from that village.
That said, I’m not suggesting you steer clear of Facebook parenting groups altogether. They can be incredibly beneficial and empowering, alleviating unnecessary stress. But if you ever choose to bypass them, just remember this: slather some breast milk on it or coconut oil. And when you’re uncertain, don’t hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician’s advice nurse.
For more insights, check out this helpful resource that covers various aspects of parenting. If you’re looking for reliable at-home insemination kits, this retailer has you covered. Additionally, you can find valuable information regarding pregnancy and home insemination at this CDC resource.
In summary, while the digital parenting community has its perks and pitfalls, it’s essential to navigate it wisely and prioritize your well-being.
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